They’re just awful and insulting to “real” moms.

Kendra Wilkinson-Baskett is the latest in a long string of celebrities (Heidi, Gisele, Nicole, Rebecca)  featured on a magazine cover shortly after giving birth. In this case, the  former “girl next door” is splashed on the cover of OK! Magazine 8 weeks after delivering via c-section.

It is hard to believe that a woman who gained 55 pounds and who did not give birth vaginally could be back in a bikini so quickly. As a mother of an 11-month-old son that was delivered via c-section, I speak from personal experience. I was unable to work out for at least 6 weeks (doctor’s orders) and I did not feel able to do so until month 3.Yet, Hefner’s former “girlfriend” is pictured in a string bikini, posing with her babe, 2 months later.

I scrutinized the photos and they appear to be heavily photoshopped. The former reality star’s head and neck don’t seem to match the torso below. Look closely.

What aggravates me about these post-baby bodies that often appear on covers mere weeks, if not days, after delivery is the anxiety they cause in everyday, mortal women. Labor, birthing, the possibility of recovering from a surgical birth and the care of a hungry newborn are overwhelming. The pressure to be bikini ready is an unnecessary and insane preoccupation for a postnatal mom.

We’re bombarded with unrealistic and unattainable images incessantly as it is. To target new mothers, exacerbate insecurities that surely already exist and make women feel guilty for not losing the weight quickly enough is inexcusable. The fact that I’ve blogged about this issue multiple times is disgraceful. I hope this will be the last time.

I doubt it.

…doing nothing.

Right.  That’s realistic.

Rebecca Romijn was photographed and applauded for being back in shape mere weeks after her pregnancy and giving birth to twins. In a recent interview, she told Extra! that she lost 35 pounds in about 3 weeks by breastfeeding.

Romijn’s close to losing the 60 pounds she gained during her pregnancy and get this…She’s done it without a workout plan. “I think within the first three weeks, I took off like 35 pounds without doing anything!” Okay, almost anything. “I haven’t been able to work out that much because I have twins. It’s impossible to get back into a regular schedule.” So, what is her secret to dropping the pounds? “Breastfeeding is the very best diet I’ve been on. It’s amazing. It’s like you have to eat 5,000 extra calories a day or you can’t produce enough food for them.

Breastfeeding burns approximately 500 calories/day and women lose approximately 1-2 pounds/week. Salma Hayek is the only celebrity that I’ve heard speak honestly about pregnancy, baby, weight gain, weight loss and breastfeeding.

I wrote a similar piece in October when the tabloids were printing pictures of Angelina Jolie 11 weeks after twins.

I’ve heard it a million times…

“I was so sick all week…but (giggling), I lost ten pounds.”

“I’d rather die thin than live fat.”

It’s strange, frightening and altogether not too surprising that girls and women rejoice in weight loss that results from illness and disease.  Most girls and women understand the serious side effects of chronic yo-yo dieting, diet pills, colonics, laxatives, drug-use and over exercise as the torture devices du-jour to pursue insane degrees of thinness. But, the stakes are high and, as a result, too many take the deadly gamble.

Images of thinness have gotten more extreme and a female’s value is wrapped in a stick-thin frame no matter what else she does.  If you’re independent, successful, professional, intelligent and you’re not thin (and attractive, with thin being a means to being considered attractive in this culture), you’re not as valuable as you could be being all those things. And. Thin.

So, when the FDA announced yet another diet pill being pulled off the market, I’m wasn’t at all surprised and I don’t think anyone else is either.

Government health officials are announcing the recall of popular weight loss pill Hydroxycut, after reports of liver damage and other health problems.

Food and Drug Administration officials said Friday the manufacturer of Hydroxycut has launched a nationwide recall of the dietary supplement, used by people trying to shed pounds and by body builders to sharpen their muscles.

Hydroxycut is advertised as made from natural ingredients. It accounts for about 90 percent of the market for weight loss supplements, with sales of about 1 million bottles a year.

Dietary supplements are not as tightly regulated by the government as medications. Manufacturers don’t need FDA approval ahead of time before marketing their products.

I mean, who are we kidding?  It’s not like there isn’t a history of harmful side effects linked to the use of diet pills resulting in recalls.  Think Fen-Phen in 1997.

I don’t think the manufacturers are surprised.  I don’t think the FDA is surprised.  I don’t think the general public is surprised.  I certainly don’t think the users of Hydroxycut are surprised. I mean, really, anytime a pill claims to have the ability to help you lose weight with minimal lifestyle changes such as changing one’s diet significantly and exercising regularly and being able to help you lose wight and/or tone and sculpt your body, you have to take pause.  That’s just weird.  And wrong.

Haven’t we learned that there’s no magic pill or quick fix for anything?  Are we still that obsessed with immediate results and instant gratification that we have ignored the lessons of the past and what our common sense tells us?

Maybe.  But, when the stakes are high logic goes out the window.

Thinness and the pursuit of thinness, no matter how toxic, is glorified in our culture. In fact, the toxic pursuit of thinness and the vile and disturbing results create fascination and stokes the flames of infatuation.

Just this week in Us Magazine’s print version there is yet another article focusing on Lindsay Lohan’s skeletal figure and the claim that she proudly uses Adderall.  Us Magazine’s online version provides the reader with a slide show of Lohan’s “weights ups and downs.” Last week, Star Magazine ran a similar piece focusing on Lohan’s break-up and subsequent weight loss.

Lohan’s weight loss can’t be attributed entirely too her break-up when you consider the sea of images that glorify the cult of thinness and advertisers provide various instruments, pills and potions to make the mirage appear real.

Hydroxcut’s recall is predictable.  Lohan’s severly thin frame is predictable.  The media’s response is predictable.

And, I have no doubt, a new pill will replace Hydroxcut in the same way Fen-Phen was replaced and the cycle will continue until there is some honest dialogue.

Until then, girls and women will put their health on the line for an outrageous aesthetic that is pandered to the masses.

…still won’t be good enough, as Us Magazine reminds readers with it’s first 2009 cover proclaiming “2009’s Diets That Work!” This is followed with captions that announce the disappearance of Britney’s “belly fat” and the fifteen pounds Beyonce dropped.  But, it’s not just about celebrities.

It’s about YOU!

“How stars get instant results” which means that you can, too, if you buy these products and behave the insane ways described in this “special” issue with a “28 page bonus.” Some of the advice? Don’t eat carbs after 6. Leave half of everything on the plate (and, what, throw the rest away?).  Do leg lunges while you brush your teeth.

2009’s first cover strikes an eerie resemble to, yup, 2008’s diets that work and it’s 23 page bonus.  In fact, when I looked at all the covers of Us Magazine for 2008 via their slide show I found almost 20 covers that mentioned dieting, make-overs, and body image at least once. Note: the slides are not complete images and may not show the diet/body reference  For complete images of all 2008 covers click on the slide show link above.

In this week’s Us Magazine, we have yet ANOTHER story of success: a new mother of twins sheds all her baby weight after a mere 11 weeks.  How did she do it, you ask?  Oh, ya know, it’s just an illusion created by a “good dress.” Oh, and by receiving deliveries of assorted Asian fruit and vegetables, mussels, crabs and prawns.  No exercise, though.  Nope.  Just good genes and the usual claim: breast feeding! Salma Hayek spoke out against this myth. As she said to Oprah, “The only way women lose weight this way is by not eating AND breast feeding…and this is bad for the baby.”  Amen, sister.

The emphasis on unhealthy, often deadly, thinness is bad enough but to add that same pressure on pregnant women and new mothers moments after delivery is ludicrous! This signals an unhealthy and potentially dangerous trend by creating unrealistic expectations for ordinary women that don’t have the time of the means to devote their all of their energy to weight loss. Not to mention, even with the time and money, baby weight gain is not designed to fall off immediately.  No matter who you are (Nicole, Angelina, Jessica, Katie).

Bump watch has taken over the tabloids in a furious and obsessive way over the last few years and includes the intense scrutiny and public commentary on how much weight pregnant celebrities gained and how much they lost soon after birth.  Salma Hayek was absolutely chastised for not losing her pregnancy weight immediately after her daughter was born. which is one of the reasons she chose to publically address this craze on national television.