March 12, 2009

What Chris Brown can teach us

The bottom line is that Chris Brown’s assault on Rihanna the eve before the Grammy’s is a teachable moment.  The couple has been a media staple as a couple and individually as mainstream musical icons.  No matter what we think about the media and it’s passion for celebrity lifestyles, the media’s coverage helps construct reality and influence public opinion on a range of issues.

In the same way the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson brought domestic violence to the forefront, Chris Brown’s violent assault reminds us that domestic violence can happen to anyone at any time.

Our society’s tolerance of women being battered is glaringly obvious from the statistics:

  • 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime
  • One third of female murder victims are killed by their intimate partner
  • Men’s violence against women is the No. 1 cause of injury to women—surpassing even car accidents.
  • Most cases of domestic violence are never reported to police.

Yet women stay in these relationships . Do they have some sort of mental illness? No, Smith tells me. It’s a social behavioral problem on the part of the victim and the abuser, not a psychiatric disorder. “The crux of the problem is that violence is something the perpetrator uses to get control of the other person. [An abuser] may also isolate the woman from her family and friends so she feels like he’s the only one she can rely on.” Of course, financially strapped women, especially those with kids, might have a hard time breaking away, and some justifiably worry that they’ll be killed if they do. Rihanna doesn’t seem to be in this situation, but Smith says it’s often hard for a woman to simply break the emotional bond with the person she’s still in love with.

There has been a growing awareness of domestic violence in recent years. One men’s organization, A Call to Men, is working to change men’s attitudes through education. The group sent out a press release saying that “possibly much of what [Chris Brown] has learned is unfortunately, from the collective body of men, which continues to teach our boys that male dominance, control, privilege, and entitlement is the correct way to behave.”

As stated above, the couple’s rumored reconciliation is another teachable moment.  Oprah has taken this event and utilized her own celebrity and access to the cultural mainstream to send strong messages about the prevalence and pattern of domestic violence and the danger of reconciling with one’s abuser

“And also, love doesn’t hurt. I’ve been saying this to women for years: ‘If a man hits you once, he will hit you again.’ “

Oprah clearly understand the power of both Chris Brown’s and Rihanna’s actions and their influence and impact on young fans.

“It makes me so sad that I said to the producers, ‘I want to do a show about it this week dedicated to all the Rihanna’s of the world,’ ” Winfrey said, citing a statistic that one out of four women in the country are battered.

Sitting at the table with Winfrey, Gayle King echoed her friend’s sentiments while she also weighed in about the pop stars’ relationship.

“My thing about this is, if you guys want to get back together, I’m okay with that, but at least take some time,” she said. “I’m so worried that she’s sending the wrong message to the fans. And him, too.”

On her website, Oprah, posted “A Parent’s Guide to Teen Dating Violence.”

The media and it’s celebrities can influence us for better or worse.  I hope more media outlets and media figures utilize this tragic moment as a reality check and a teachable moment for young fans.

Sadly, the coverage by Cosmo Girl! was severely lacking in depth.

This is some pretty sad news to start the week off with, but it is certainly worthy of talking about. Perez tells us that Chris Brown was arrested after a pre-Grammy party on Saturday night for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend Rihanna. Apparently the couple was arguing in their car when it turned physical and she ended up at the hospital in tears with “contusions and bites.” Brown turned himself in to police the next day, posted $50,000 bail and was released. Both he and Rihanna backed out of the Grammy’s the day of. That is just so sad (we even named them one of the Best Couples of 2008), arguments with your significant other should never turn violent. We wish Rihanna the best and for Chris to get help.

The rest of the “article” discussed the Grammy’s various performers.