Guest post by Lucy Jane Stoner who for her own reasons won’t use her own name or reveal exactly which celebrity rag she used to write for.

Celebrity gossip is anti-feminist.

Through its relentless criticism of both female and male celebrities’ bodies, it perpetuates an ideal that not even celebrities themselves can attain. As Britney Spears – one of gossip’s favorite targets and textbook victims – said, she’s “Mrs. Too Big Now She’s Too Thin.” She’s never right, her body is always wrong and we – people who don’t even know her – are entitled to judgment. Unlimited access to high resolution, high volume, and highly commodified photos of celebrities makes them powerless to scrutiny of their every flaw and their every imperfection. We place them on pedestals and then we take pictures up their skirts.

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Week four of Tabloid Talk features more of the same:

Relationships rank high in the tabloid headlines: 5 references, including beginnings, endings and pregnancy.

Heidi Montag appears on both covers this week and the focus is on her lack of individual agency as related to her body project gone wild through the relentless pursuit of “perfection” by continuously modifying her body.

The “body,” focus on women’s beauty and their assorted body projects have been a leading theme week to week. Dina, of the Real Housewives of New Jersey, is featured to the far left of the Life & Style cover and explains “Why I got a breast reduction.” Juxtaposed next to Heidi Montag’s looming headline, “Forced into more plastic surgery,” Dina appears to be a claim to body sanity. After all, Heidi Montag has been turned into a circus freak, an emblem of the industry’s standard of beauty gone awry.

And, of course, in addition to body talk and a focus on heterosexual relationships, no tabloid would be complete without the girl feud. This week, the “nasty feud” is between Kate Hudson and Cameron Diaz. The main issue? A guy, natch, and Kate thinks its Cameron’s way of paying Kate back for Kate’s hook-up with Justin Timberlake.

Looking at the pop culture landscape, women are rarely shown in authentic female friendships or in solidarity with one another. Women seem to be endlessly competing with one another in hot pursuit of the beauty myth, an unrealistic image of perfection sold to women as the primary indicator of worth, and men. Of course, I have stated time and time again, the former serves to nab the latter.

This article reinforces these ideas about “mean girls” waging war:

There’s plenty of bad blood between the two professionally. “Kate thinks that Camewron is an aging old-lady actress struggling to remain sexy and relevant,” the insider says of Hudson…

In a cultural environment that prizes female beauty, youth is a primary component in the way that beauty is constructed. Taking aim at Cameron’s age is a classic example of the way in which women are devalued as they age and the derogatory comments hurled at one another in spite, envy and competition.

This week’s themes? More of the same.

Heterosexual relationships: 6 references. I included baby references in this category for a total of 3 baby stories and 3 relationship references ( 2 about Halle’s split and 1 about Jessica’s “new man”) equaling 6 under this category.

The remaining headlines feature the mean girl theme, this time the Kardashian sisters are feuding (the Kardashians have been featured on a total of 5 out of 7 covers in the last 3 weeks), and body image (Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa, shares her new “mom diet” and poses with her 8 month-old daughter who is wearing a pair of baby heels).

Life and Style and Us Magazine tapped into the stereotypical catty, bitchy, mean girl archetype on this week’s covers (don’t get me started on Kourtney Kardashian’s post-baby bikini body given my recent post and Kourtney’s outrage at being photoshopped).

Vienna slams Ali! DWTS (Dancing with the Stars) drama! Pam hates Kate. DWTS feuding already!

It’s a standard assumption and expectation that all girls and women are never really friends with another girl or woman, at best we’re “frenemies.” Afterall, all girls and women are jealous, vindictive, competitive bitches. Don’t believe me? See my recent post, She’s Probably a Bitch.