October 3, 2008

Female sexuality/pleasure in the age of the hook-up

I appreciated Courtney Martin’s post on Feministing today in response to Michael Kimmel’s latest book, Guyland. Kimmel reported an orgasm gap between men and women engaging in heterosexual hook-ups involving oral sex and intercourse.

It’s not that I’m shocked by these numbers. I’ve heard enough horrendous hetero hook-up stories to know that they’re usually not all that orgasmic, or even all that pleasurable, for the ladies involved. I’m one of those who believes that long term relationships (or at least multiple hook ups with the same partner) are pretty necessary to figure out how your two unique chemistries best match up for good sex (widely defined). This, of course, goes for queer lovin’ as well.

What really made my jaw drop was the discrepancy between the way women reported orgasms and the way men reported women’s orgasms. As Kimmel put it, “Many women, it turns out, fake orgasm.”…

It is your feminist duty to 1) seek pleasure and feel entitled to it and 2) to make the world a more    orgasmic place for other women.

Amen to that, sister.