Originally posted at Proud2Bme.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” he asked with grave concern as chicken grease ran down his fingers and his chin. We’d just finished a rigorous hike and I was starving—famished, ravenous and slightly light-headed. I mean, really, we’d been cavorting, frolicking and climbing the local mountains in the summer heat for over 6 hours and I hadn’t eaten anything except for an apple. Maybe.

“Oh, no, I’m fine,” I replied. He paused mid-bite and questioned me with raised eyebrows. “I’m good–really,” I said sounding far too relaxed and nonchalant about something as serious as a meal after physically exerting myself as excessively as I had. But, nope, I wouldn’t change my mind. I was not going to let him see me eat, especially a greasy, messy meal like that. Mind you, this is the same guy I wouldn’t take a pee around. I’d turn the faucet on when I had to go really bad to make sure he didn’t hear me, otherwise I’d hold it until I got home. I know I wasn’t the only 17-year-old girl to pull a stunt like that.

If there was anything I’d learned up to that point, it was that girls and women don’t have bodily functions or odors (unless they’re created in chemical factories and mask your natural female body smells), and they aren’t supposed to be seen eating (unless it’s yogurt, salad or other “girl” food) or sweating (unless they’re sweating like women should—hello, female antiperspirant industry).

Fast forward to 15 years later:

“Are you going to eat that?” the student I had been mentoring asked with nervous excitement. “Yes,” I said awaiting the sweet taste of carrot cake as my fork hovered close to my lips. “In public?” she continued.

“Um, where else should I eat it? In the bathroom or the broom closet?” I laughed as I sank my teeth into the cream cheese frosting knowing perfectly well that those were considered viable options, ones preferred over this scenario—that of a woman eating cake out in public in broad daylight. I’m talking a slice of cake, not a bite of cake and not an entire cake. A slice of cake. On a Tuesday at 1 in the afternoon. There was no special occasion. I simply wanted some cake and I felt no shame or remorse about it.  Shame and guilt had led me to stuff myself in private after starving myself publicly one too many times in the past.

“Wow. I admire you. I wish I could do that,” she said slowly. I asked her what was stopping her and she went on to tell me about her mother, a woman who kept a scale in the dining room so she could look at it while she ate dinner and remind herself not to eat too much. And when it came to cake? Well, her mother always cut much smaller slices for the girls and reserved the big frosted pieces for the boys at the family party.

We continued to have lunch on campus between classes with a few other students for several weeks and each time I’d enjoy something sweet without embarrassment or great fanfare on my end. One day she sat down and said, “I have to tell you something.” She giggled like someone about to dish a shameful secret. “I went to my cousin’s birthday party over the weekend and when my mom handed me a thin slice of cake on a paper plate, I told her that I wanted a big one. She looked at me with surprise as I put the plate she handed me back on the table and grabbed one of the large slices. I felt great.”

“Over It” by Liz Acosta. For the full artist statement on this video, click here.

Gendering food is a common angle in TV commercials: the woman eats salads, the man craves steak. I actually like this Cici’s commercial because it pokes fun of the usual stereotypes.

Click here and here for older and more detailed posts from me on gender and food.

Food and feminism go hand-in-hand. In countries like India food security issues and feminism have been linked for decades! In an article in Ms Magazine in 2004, Elaine Lipson outlined many of the reasons why women should concern themselves with the quality of food that we and our families are eating.  

…..Women worldwide are still primarily responsible for feeding families. They need to be aware of what they’re serving and what they are eating…..Every feminist, woman or man, who embraces equality and diversity and opposes violence and domination, should recognize that the foods we eat, and how they’re grown, matter to our environment and to our lives.

Additionally, the vast majority of our food is grown and produced outside of the United States where it is incredibly commonplace for women to tend the land, work on farms, or receive their livelihood’s from a coopeative of women creating food for their communities. Food subsidies given by the U.S. and Japan weaken the economies of many agricultural countries. Meaning that the work of those women whose livelihood’s depends on the land they tend and the food they grow is incessantly undermined by our food subsidies.

All that being said…..in honor of Huffington Post’s Week of Eating In, I will be posting recipes throught the week of February 22-28, 2010! Eating in – and learning how to – promotes a lifestyle that creates community, consciousness about what you’re eating and where it comes from, and reduces the amount of waste you produce (especially, if you recycle and compost)! To quote a Huffington Post blogger, Cathy Erway, “….by preparing your own food, you’ll become more mindful of it. And for one of the few physical necessities of every day — eating — a better connection with that food is nothing to sneeze at.”

So….just for a week…try it! Stay home, cook some great food, take pic’s of it for HuffPost & facebook, and share some great eats with your family and neighbors! You might find out that you really like knowing exactly what you’re eating, or that you just enjoy the simple act of preparing your own nourishment.

Check out Jezebel and Claire Mysko’s pieces on the hypocrisy of women’s health/fitness magazines and the problem with body image role models of celebrity status. Mysko states:

Whenever an actress or pop star comes forward to talk about her struggle with an eating disorder or poor body image, I say a little prayer that she will find true health. I also hope that she’ll speak responsibly about recovery and self-acceptance. Unfortunately, I’m usually disappointed.

The fact is that getting over an eating disorder (or the murkier but more common problem of disordered eating) involves getting away from an obsession with weight, and that’s darn near impossible to do if you happen to be a celebrity–a job that requires you to go on the record about your exercise and diet “secrets” if you want to stay on the publicity train.

As the Jezebel piece notes:

The hypocrisy of women’s “health” magazines becomes fairly obvious just by looking at their covers. For example, this month’s Self magazine features one cover line, “Be Happy And Healthy At Any Size” tucked below a much larger cover line:

“3 Easy Ways To Lose Weight.”

What seems common knowledge to the cultural critic, the sociologist and the person recovering from disordered eating or an eating disorder is often less obvious to most. And one of those things is that magazines hailed as health magazines or gyms euphemistically called “fitness” or “health” (yeah, right) clubs are more about aesthetics and profit. I mentioned this in my December 2008 post:

I’ve known for years that gyms are not health clubs.  As Lester Burnham declares in American Beauty, he works out “to look good naked.”

Equinox Fitness is quite candid about it’s true aim with it’s tag line “It’s not fitness.  It’s life.”

Our culture increasingly sends contradictory and mixed messages. An ad for ice-cream you can indulge in on one page and an ad for diet pills on the next. While many celebrities are applauded for speaking frankly and candidly about their fight against a distorted body image and unrealistic expectations in the industry, their venue (magazines, television) overshadows their message with a plethora of insecurity boosting themes. Their voice is lost in the cacophony of voices whispering “you’re too fat” or “too flabby” while whispering “eat,” “indulge” (Haagen Dazs tagline “the longer lasting pleasure”) and “enjoy” in the other.

This advertisement campaign isn’t new but it still makes me laugh each time I see it.

Nutrisystem says that “real” men can diet, too….as long as they can eat “mmmmm…man food” consisting of meaty burgers and pizza.  Man food is hearty cuz real mean are hearty and beefy, too.

Think Carl’s Junior.  Enough said.

Food as an expression of gender has been around for centuries.

Victorian women were urged not to be seen eating by their mothers because eating led to defecation and women didn’t have and still shouldn’t have bodily functions.  Furthermore, food and the act of eating is sensual, physical and pleasurable.  The Victorian women was not supposed to be sexual, sensual or carnal.  If she did eat, she should steer clear of “heat-inducing” foods such as spices, caffeine and…meat.

Nutrisystem and Carl’s Junior are simply playing out gender rules that are more than 150 years old. And, Nutrisystem has found a way to target men as a new demographic to increase their profits. It does so by allowing men fret over their appearance without losing their manhood. Dieting has long been considered a feminine trait. In order to sell diet food to men you must make commercial that promise these men that they will not be emasculated.

What’s the ultimate message? Diet by eating  “man food” (and we can make money off your new weight obsession without appearing to be a like silly girl).

Jackie gave me the heads up on this latest treat.

It’s a typical food/sex ad.

Women and food.  Food and sex.  Women and food and sex. Food as pleasure.  Women as food.

Victorian women were advised not to be seen eating by their mothers since eating food meant one ingested (and defecated) said edible and this was considered sensual and, goodness knows, a good Victorian girl was not a sensual or sexual creature.  Only bad girls had the inner flame of sexuality burning.  Food could ignite that passion and cause a good girl to go bad.

Carl’s Junior has played on this age-old Victorian sentiment for quite some time by depicting overly sexed and objectified women as the edible and eating the edible.  The bad girl ( as in sexual) for the taking.

This is typical Carl’s Junior (who can forget Paris Hilton and her burger or the tag line. “If it doesn’t get all over the place it doesn’t belong in your face” with two dudes slobbering all over the innocent burger).

Ugh.

Flashback: