Originally posted at ClaireMysko.com. Cross-posted with permission.

After hearing Biggest Loser star Jillian Michaels say that she probably will adopt because she “can’t handle” what pregnancy might do to her body, Gwynnie and Madonna’s trainer Tracy Anderson wants to give hope to women whose body image fears might have them thinking twice about getting pregnant (while she conveniently plugs her fitness program). She’s laid out her plan in this Huffington Post piece. Take heart, dear readers. Anderson understands what you’re going through because she’s a mom too! Her workout advice is predictable–it involves a lot of “discipline,” “focus,” “dedication” and “patience.” She also says it’s okay for moms to take time for themselves and that children will benefit from healthy moms. That’s all well and good, except for the fact that when she talks about her own approach to postpartum fitness, she doesn’t sound all that healthy.

Even though I was tired and could hardly catch a shower as a new mom, I found myself with a new power and belief that I could achieve anything…As soon as my OB-GYN gave me the green light to work out again, I started experimenting with my workouts whenever my son Sam was sleeping or with his Nana.

Six weeks after having Sam, I was smaller and more fit than I had been in my entire life. It took a lot of work, but I am a testament to the fact that pregnancy is not the end to your dreams of a perfect body.

Hmmm…I gave birth to my daughter seven weeks ago. I just got the okay to exercise from my doctor at my six-week check-up. For Anderson to have been her smallest and most fit at six weeks postpartum means that she must have been hitting the gym pretty hard at a point when most new moms are still physically healing and coping with serious sleep deprivation, hormone crashes and the general OMFG factor of caring for a newborn. As for that sage wisdom about napping when the baby naps? Apparently in Anderson’s world, there is no rest for the weary.

I absolutely get what she means when she says that she came to appreciate her power after giving birth. Bringing a baby into the world does make you feel like you can achieve anything. It also makes you very tired. And sore. And in desperate need of any tiny bit of shut-eye you can grab in between feedings, diaper changes, and the madness of managing baby meltdowns. Anderson sculpts and molds bodies for a living–I suppose it makes sense that she would want to immediately channel her new mommy power into her quest for the “perfect” body. That doesn’t mean the rest of us should follow her lead.

Obsessing about baby weight is the opposite of empowering. It prevents women from giving ourselves a break at a time when we need it most, and it keeps us disconnected from the amazing feats our bodies have just accomplished. Anderson’s timeline for getting her “best body ever” is unrealistic at best and it could be downright dangerous for some new moms.

Exercise is important, but sometimes the best thing we can do to take care of ourselves is to take it slow. You wouldn’t run a marathon and then wake up the next day and try to run another one. Hopefully you would pat yourself on the back and give yourself permission to relax for a while. So why should mothers put pressure on ourselves to work out six days a week (per Anderson’s recommendation) when we’ve just been through the biggest workout of our lives?

Updated version of this post at Elephant Journal, February 8, 2011.

I felt that way at the beginning of my first trimester and I’ve heard it among too many other pregnant women. Instead of equating the swelling belly and increased adipose tissue (fat) with hormonal changes and additional weight designed to support the pregnancy, too many women just feel fat (and hate it).

I always found the pregnant form immeasurably beautiful. Radiant women with full curves and a new life growing inside. I looked forward to the day I would become pregnant and join this league of life-giving, glowing goddess women. I took the home test, it confirmed my pregnancy and one of the first things that went off in my head was, “uh-oh, what about my body?” I am embarrassed to admit that the fat fear was present almost from conception.

I had moments where I felt beautiful but I didn’t embrace my fecundity and fullness in the same way I had imagined. Those “beautiful” moments were sprinkled in among terror over my ever-expanding body. I remember coming home and crying at the end of the first trimester because I felt ugly and fat. My partner would remind me that I had a long way to go and I was not big (at that time).

Reflecting on those feelings of self-rejection and body hatred makes me sad, sad because my beautiful son was growing inside of me. I’ve written about this subject a lot lately because it is maddening that women seem destined to carry their culturally induced body anxieties into what should be an incredible life experience. The tabloids ridiculous obsession with the baby-bump and the post-baby body has not helped pregnant women feel any better about the changes their body goes through. In fact, it’s just “another way to make a woman feel fat.”

To help women cope with body pressures before and after pregnancy, author Claire Mysko wrote Does This Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat? The Essential Guide to Loving Your Body Before and After Baby.

If you’re like most expectant women, you’re worried about what pregnancy and motherhood will do to your body, your sexuality, and your self-esteem (even if you don’t want to admit it out loud for fear of the Bad Mommy Police). While the journey to motherhood is truly miraculous and brings forth life, it can also bring forth a myriad of legitimate concerns.

Enter beauty activists Claire Mysko and Magali Amadei, who offer a much-needed forewarning on what to expect from your changing body, as well as a reality check for each stage of your pregnancy, exposing the myths, challenges, and insecurities you’ll face throughout pregnancy and beyond—and what to do about them.

Unfortunately, I did not find this book until well after my son was born and deep into the throes of my body loathing. I hope all pregnant women (or soon-to-be-pregnant) will find this book and that it will assist them.

While I think this information can be incredibly helpful, it’s not enough because we’re in a mediated cultural environment that continues to throw jabs from every angle. We need to employ active tools of media literacy to deconstruct these images as well as create and expose ourselves to new images, realistic images. That’s why I love the website, The Shape of A Mother, a website that demystifies the pregnant and postnatal form with images and stories from real mothers without computer retouching or plastic surgery.

As a first-time mother, I admit that I was clueless and surprised at the physical changes I encountered. I felt alone and disappointed that most of the physical and emotional changes I experienced were not discussed honestly and openly by other mothers. I felt like I was thrown into the jungle without the adequate provisions and tools to emerge successfully. We need less stories about women like Ellen Pompeo (who went up to-gasp-size 26  jeans during pregnancy), Gisele Bundchen (kudos on the home birth, though) or Nicole Richie (“svelte after one week!”)  and more stories about average women who are pregnant but just feel fat. Maybe if we have more people discussing these issues candidly we can avoid more women spending their pregnancy obsessing over their inevitable expansion and being present to the miraculous process they are engaging in.

Now that would be beautiful.

Me during my first trimester, feeling gigantic (not gigantic at all). Me during the last few weeks.