In response to Kate Fridkis at Huffington Post – “Why I Don’t Call Myself a Feminist Anymore.”

According to Fridkis, the word “feminist” conjures up a lot of negative images. That I don’t disagree with. (A good way to test this theory is by telling your male boss that you’re a feminist). What I do disagree with is just about everything Ms. Fridkis asserts thereafter. I am a feminist who is offended by a lot of bad behavior – none of them include the shaving or not shaving of armpits, the wearing or not wearing of high heels, or calling god a “he” (as I believe that what we call “god” is both masculine and feminine and both aspects should be appreciated and honored). And, the founder of this here feminist site is an adherent to the regular mani/pedi.

But, the way that Ms. Fridkis dismisses feminism’s validity in this post-modern, “post-feminist” society is offensive.  Yes, feminism has some baggage, and yes, it is a fractured movement. It has history. And, the requirement of the movement and the activists in it are always changing. To use feminism to gain a personal sense of freedom, then throw it out and attempt to negate its power and efficacy as a movement and in the lives of others is offensive. To truly be feminist, Ms. Fridkis should have continued the struggle and fought to change the negative connotations that she freely admits are associated with the word.

For most feminists being a feminist is not “an act of defiance” as it was for Kate; it is a self-identification that defines the ways in which they live their lives and informs the way that they struggle for equality along-side activists from every social justice movement be it gay rights or racial equality. It becomes a part of you that could no more easily be extracted than a healthy part of your body.

Feminism’s work is not done. 21.6 Million American Women have an eating disorder; 1.5 Million American Women will be the victim of domestic violence this year; 0.03% of the CEO’s of Fortune 500 company’s are women (that’s 15 of 500); Female members of the United States Military stop drinking water at 7 p.m. to reduce their chances of being raped. And, those are simply a few of the obvious problems HERE. Globally, the work that is to be done to improve the lives of women is limitless. The very least of their concerns is body hair or what to call god.

So, Ms. Fridkis, I don’t really mind if you don’t want to be a feminist, but please don’t continue to disseminate the fallacious message that feminism is dead and expendable. It invalidates the life-altering experiences of your sisters and the work that remains to be done here at home and globally.

Photo courtesy of Jay Morrison, CC 2.0.

I have not seen Revolutionary Road yet but Melisa Silverstein’s piece has me more excited than ever.

Revolutionary Road is a tough movie for a woman who grew up after the women’s movement of the 1970s to watch, but after watching it a couple of times I actually think that it should be required watching for all young women who think that feminism is irrelevant. (Disclaimer, I am a consultant to the studio and organized a blogger screening for the film.)

The film tells the story of April and Frank Wheeler living the post World War Two “American dream” that morphs into the American nightmare. It is the era described in the Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan the book that articulated for women the “problem with no name” which Kate Winslet read while preparing for her role as April. She stated in an interview: “It was the era of prescription medication, you know, and women really starting to believe …Maybe I’m crazy, because I don’t want this life, I think there’s something wrong with me.'” (The Guardian)

April and Frank were was supposed to be different. But they weren’t. They were exactly the same as everyone on their boring suburban street and that’s what was driving them both crazy. But the thing is that Frank had options and choices and given the fact that it is 1955, April did not. Frank went into the city everyday on the train with lots of other men to their boring jobs and April was stuck at home.

She had no choices, no options.

A scene that really shows April’s suffocation is when she takes out the garbage cans and positions them perfectly on the curb. She then looks up and sees all the other garbage cans perfectly positioned on the curbs up and down the street. Her face at seeing all the cans, the disbelief that this has become her life is palpable. Juxtapose that with the scene of Frank standing on the train smoking and breathing in the fresh air and the suburbs fly by. He’s free, she’s in a box.

As Silverstein points out, films that can accurately portray the conditions that led to the second wave of feminism, or the Women’s Liberation Movement, are important for young women AND men today that often believe that feminism is unimportant or outmoded.  The haze of collective amnesia is thick.  It is always striking to me when young women don’t have a sense of their own history as women and lack  a working knowledge of the women and men that paved the way for their own choices. The women and men that do acknowledge gender issues usually proclaim the ever popular phrase, “I’m not a feminist but…”

While I maintain a critical eye on the fabric of popular culture, I am the first to acknowledge and utilize popular culture as a relevant learning tool.  Films like Iron Jawed Angels, North Country, Far From HeavenThe Hours and , shows like Mad Men and Sex and the City provide points of analysis that resonate with many young people and provide opportunities to move beyond their preconceived notions. These films and shows often provide the first puncture mark in the bubbled reality many people have about women, men, gender, feminism’s place historically and in the future.  That’s saying a lot.  I have no doubt that I’ll incorporate this film into my own curriculum.