July 4, 2011

You’re So Perfect…Except for Your Boobs

“Look! I married you a certain way! I like women who look a certain way! It’s my right to like women who look a certain way and I shouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life not being happy,” Brad exclaimed.

The retort from my friend Jasmine’s husband was a reaction to her staunch refusal to get ‘another set’ less than two months after removing the implants that nearly cost her her life.  For nearly a decade Jasmine endured numerous health complications that Western doctors claimed had nothing to do with her silicone breast implants.

Brad seemed different from her last fiance, which is why Jasmine married him. He seemed open-minded, kind, forgiving, gentle, nurturing, and accepting. When she sprouted a few stray gray hairs in her late twenties he urged her not to pluck them saying he loved her “wisdom hairs.”

Tim, her boyfriend a decade earlier, told her she was perfect and the “girl of his dreams.” Well, almost. She was the girl of his dreams except her breasts were too small and she’d be perfect if they were bigger. In fact he’d marry her if she’d consider breast enlargement surgery. Within a week Jasmine, then 18 years old in 1990, found herself under the knife. When she woke up the static and lifeless silicone orbs on her chest were much larger than what she had agreed to during the initial consultation. The consultation that came within days of her halfheartedly agreeing to consider them.

Jasmine was genetically tiny and naturally beautiful by today’s standard. Now she embodied the girl on the back of a trucker’s mudflap. Tim’s version of the perfect wife. As promised, they were quickly engaged and twenty-five-year-old Tim, the ‘hot guy’ in town, paraded her around like a trophy–until she had the courage to leave him for being emotionally abusive and controlling.

I met Jasmine a few years after her plastic surgery and we became tight friends. In numerous intimate conversations she confided in me about her implants and Tim, her body image issues, and her distrust of men. These conversations were plagued by a deep sadness and marked by intense insecurity and regret. With her striking eyes and “porn star body,” Jasmine commanded a lot of male attention, attention that she deflected and tried to avoid by dressing in ways that diminished her figure.

I was one of the only people that knew how uncomfortable this attention made her and how much she longed to have her original body back. Shortly after leaving Tim, she began looking into removing the implants. She was repeatedly told by male doctors that she would be ‘disfigured’ and that there was no sound reason to have them removed. That is until they began to break down inside her body and wreak havoc on her immune system.

By the time she began noticing her brittle hair and general dis-ease, Jasmine had developed into a smart, sharp-tongued feminist with a penchant for alternative holistic medicine and healing modalities. Eight years after the initial breast implant surgery, four years after finding her feminist voice, and two years after discovering massive amounts of hair shedding on her clothes and furniture, Jasmine fell off her mountain bike with her chest landing smack down on the handle bars.

She heard an audible tear and immediately knew one of her implants had torn. She went to her doctor and he blew her off, as did the countless doctors after that. They waved her off as an irrational, over emotional, and slightly insane woman. The following year she married Brad and within months of their wedding the symptoms of a ‘crazy’ woman began to increase.

She discovered that:

Studies have shown rupture rates to be 50% to 60% in silicone implants 10-15 years old,[24] with one study showing a failure rate of 6% per year for the first 5 years, 50% at 10 years, and 70% at 17 years.[22] Twenty-one percent of women in one study, following implant rupture, had silicone gel migration out of the fibrous capsule of scar tissue that surrounds the breast implant.[24] These studies utilized MRI, which has been shown to be 74% to 94% sensitive and 85% to 98% specific in detecting implant rupture.

Over the course of the next year:

  • Her hair had become so brittle that chunks would fall out, leaving bald spots on her scalp.
  • Her face was permanently bloated.
  • She developed large cystic acne in her lymph node areas of her armpits, neck, jawline, and the sides of her cheeks.
  • Her digestive track became paralyzed and completely shut down. She was unable to defecate for a month. It took three weeks of daily colonic treatments to remove the compacted fecal matter.
  • She also began to develop cysts, which turned into tumors around her nipples and across her breasts.

Most Western doctors declared the symptoms as unrelated and, again, chalked up her concerns to the rants of a highly paranoid and overly sensitive drama queen. Jasmine had to diagnose herself through her own research on Dow Corning’s polyurethane-coated silicone breast implants and heal herself (keep herself alive) to the best of her ability by seeking out alternative health care. Her research confirmed the source of her failing health as more and more women spoke out publicly and Dow Corning endured scrutiny for their product.

Despite her list of growing health problems, many doctors encouraged her to leave them in precisely because Dow Corning was under current pressure to remove silicone from the market. Their reasoning? Silicone implants feel better than saline implants and if she were to remove her silicone implants and replace them with saline she would look and feel less desirable.

Eventually, she found a doctor that not only agreed to remove her implants, but told her that if she didn’t have them removed she wouldn’t live to see her next birthday. After long discussions with her husband, her mother, and myself, she scheduled a removal date. I took off a week from graduate school, borrowed some money from a friend, and flew five hours to be with her.

Shortly after they were removed, Jasmine regained mental clarity, felt less scattered, her body became stronger, and she felt generally relieved. And that’s when Brad dropped the bomb on her.

“When do you think you’ll be ready to replace these with the next pair with saline implants?

At this point, Dow Corning’s silicone implants were off the market (only to be reintroduced in 2006, a decision that was deemed “sound” mere days ago). Jasmine made it clear that she had no intention of replacing them. She reminded Brad that he had been supportive of her decision to remove them and that he had taken vows to love her in sickness and in health. That’s when he retorted with his right to be with a large-breasted woman, like the one he originally married. Jasmine’s feelings of rejection and fear were confounded when they divorced a year later following Brad’s affair with a buxom hostess at work. She was mortified and depressed.

Not only did Jasmine’s marriage fail, she began to notice a shift in attention from men–attention that shifted away from herself and to women now younger than she with fuller bust lines. Despite the initial pressure into getting breast implants, her regret over getting implants and the fact that they nearly ended her life, she confided in me that there were several occasions in which she contemplated getting that next pair.

Jasmine’s story reveals many things. First and foremost, it demonstrates the incredible pressure girls and women feel to embody an unrealistic and dangerous beauty ideal. It also exposes the mental and emotional health risks and the incredible and painful risks women are willing to take in order to embody an ideal of perfection. Because in the end, as bell hooks proclaims in Communion: The Female Search for Love, being beautiful is about being loved. Girls and women understand from an early age that we’re primarily valued by the way we look and that if we can achieve this oppressive beauty ideal, we’ll be rewarded. In the words of hooks, girls and women strive to “make [themselves] over, to become someone worthy of love.”

Like more and more women, Jasmine became aware of the damaging fallout caused from pursuing a society’s singular beauty ideal. Her awareness was shaped by her personal experience as well as from her feminist consciousness, which was informed by the continued efforts of the feminist movement. But as hooks points out, awareness is not enough.

To solve the problem of body self-hatred, we have to critique sexist thinking, militantly oppose it, and simultaneously create new ways of seeing ourselves.

Editor’s Note: Last week the FDA stated in a report that breast implants are safe but will fail within 10 years. Here’s an excerpt from the report:

The longer a woman has silicone gel-filled breast implants, the more likely she is to experience complications. One in 5 patients who received implants for breast augmentation will need them removed within 10 years of implantation. For patients who received implants for breast reconstruction, as many as 1 in 2 will require removal 10 years after implantation. The most frequently observed complications and outcomes are capsular contracture (hardening of the area around the implant), reoperation (additional surgeries) and implant removal. Other common complications include implant rupture, wrinkling, asymmetry, scarring, pain, and infection.

Originally posted at Adios Barbie. Cross-posted at Elephant Journal.


  1. This is a great piece. It’s heartbreaking and important. Most if not all women have felt something like this: being valued for our looks more than for anything else, feeling like we have to keep up with others’ expectations of what we should look like, and so on. What a noxious environment we live in! I think the best way to counter this is, as hooks says, to “create new ways of seeing ourselves” just as we militantly fight against and critique sexist thinking.

    Comment by Natalia — July 11, 2011 @ 8:55 am

  2. I’m completely against cosmetic surgery and hate breast inmplants and the environment that encourages women to get them. However, there is still no good evidence that they cause the kind of systematic problems described above (the localized problems, yes).

    Also, there is not such thing as “alternative medicine”. Alternative medicine that has been shown to work is just called “medicine”.

    Comment by Bobbie — July 26, 2011 @ 5:22 pm

  3. I have to agree with Bobbie – Jasmine’s fiancee is a massive douche for putting her through that, and those doctors are jackholes for not letting her remove them when she wanted. But “alternative” medicine is dangerous. Like Bobbie said, either a treatment works or it doesn’t. If it does, then science and evidence based medicine will adopt it.

    Furthermore, terms like “Western Medicine” are largely made up by purveyors of pseudoscientific treatments in order to create a false sense that alternative medicine is some sort of amazing “Ancient Oriental Wisdom” which smacks of colonialism and racial/cultural fetishization, and furthermore, is simply false. Much alternative medicine that claims to be “ancient” are largely practices that were never popular in ancient times and have come back into fashion among CAM practicioners.

    Some great links are the above linked Science Based Medicine blog, whatstheharm.net, and quackwatch.com

    Comment by Joseph Caine — July 28, 2011 @ 7:47 am

  4. It must be awful to feel forced into doing something to one’s own body by someone else. Following the removal of my testicles, which occurred as the result of an accident, *I* made the decision not to get prosthetic testicles. I would hate for someone to have made that decision for me – or even made it an issue.

    Comment by ES — August 23, 2011 @ 5:13 am

  5. I absolutely hate that our culture makes us want to cut ourselves to feel accepted. I just watched this documentary, so I’ve been thinking about the subject quite a lot.

    Comment by samanthajankis — October 21, 2011 @ 6:19 pm

  6. Some women have implants because they completely hate the way they look, the implants give them more confidence and can make them feel more like a woman. Now having said that the choice of undergoing cosmetic surgery has to be completely your own, never opt for surgery to satisfly somebody else as this will surely come back at you. Very, very sad that any cosmetic procedures dont come out the way they were intended!

    Comment by Gaynor — January 11, 2012 @ 8:55 am

  7. It’s so heart-breaking that a woman’s worth is so intrinsically linked to the way that she looks. We should not be made to feel like we are not good enough because we do not live up to beauty ideals that are perpetuated by the media. We should not be made to feel that in order to be loved we must change the way we look, the way we are. True love is the complete acceptance of a person, ‘warts and all’.


    Comment by serafina — February 22, 2012 @ 9:21 am

  8. In our society the trend is for a women to look beautiful no matter what. It is sad to say that the ideal body type these days is to have big boobs or a big butt. Girls that have big boobs and butt are consider to be gorgeous and have the best body ever just like Kim Kardashian. In reality women have different body shapes that makes them look beautiful and unique. I agree with bell hooks, that given awareness to women about loving their bodies is not enough, but we have to change “the critique of sexist thinking and create new ways of seeing ourselves.” The most important lesson in this story is that we need to love our bodies before anyone wants to loves us back. We have to remind ourselves that the person that would loves us back should loves us for who we are internally not just physically. External beauty doesn’t last forever but our soul, spirit, personality, and heart are what should count as the ideal of being beautiful.

    Comment by Karen Acevedo — May 1, 2012 @ 10:51 am

  9. Love the story…to each his own on what the ideal body looks like. The great thing about all this bigget breast is an opitions and with a little money…%$wam bam*^@ you have bigger breast. Regarles it doen’t change how we are…..Thanks for the story…Michail

    Comment by Natrual Breast — May 17, 2012 @ 7:52 pm

  10. I personally feel bad for Jasmine. She was used on multiple occasions and not once thought about what she wanted for herself. Being Tim’s “toy” to make the other guys jealous is such a sad and pathetic way to treat your wife. I’m surprised that it took seven years to realize that her husband was using her. However on the other hand, it’s her fault as well. She probably had a clue of what she was getting herself into, the second her husband suggested that she should get breast implants. Even though I pity her, that doesn’t mean she didn’t deserve for what she had coming. Spending her life as a feminist is a good path to a clear and bright future, but after everything that happened to her. I doubt she would ever forget the past.

    Comment by Alexander K (Wom.10 Scholars) — September 8, 2012 @ 1:30 pm

  11. Skinny, tiny waist, sexy, big boobs, and a big butt are men look for in women physically. They claim that these features do not matter, but women really know that they do. While reading this article I could not help but think how many times I have heard men say that to women. “You are so perfect, except your boob.” Why are breast such a big deal to men. Breasts just objectify women to the public eye. I felt incredibly bad for Jasmine during this article. Not only did two men not accept her for who she was and how she looked, when she was feeling ill she was turned down by countless of profession doctors who claimed she was overly emotional. Jasmine just wanted to be herself and she was happy with the way she was, but Tim and Brad weren’t. The things women do for love… it is crazy. I do not blame Jasmine at all! I wish that after Tim she would have found someone that would objectify her, but Brad was just like Tim. It is crazy that no doctor would believe her and her life was almost at risk. I think going into the feminism can really help. I just hope she has better luck in the future.

    Comment by Dorsa D — October 23, 2012 @ 10:39 am

  12. I really enjoyed reading this article. It really opened my eyes to the things that people would risk, especially their health, and endure in order to be accepted by people as well as the society due to the amount of pressure girls are put under. It really sucks that Tim would only marry her under the condition of if she got breast implants, it really portrays what a complete asshole he is. Brad as well, for divorcing her after she got her implants removed, because he should understand that it was causing her severe health problems. In the past, a “perfect” body was one that was slim and petite but in the modern world, a “perfect” body is one that is curvy, with a big boobs and big butt. It is also her fault for trying to meet the standards of the men in her life because she was being used the entire time and should have realized what she was getting herself into from the beginning. It is unfortunate that her implants ruptured and she had to get them removed after it had lead to many unnecessary health problems.

    Comment by NatashaN — October 23, 2012 @ 6:24 pm

  13. This is truly a sad story one of many that are probably out there. The idea of being a perfect woman the “ideal woman” is very unrealistic. Many women feel the need to be a perfect girlfriend or wife and succumb to the domestic violence that happens in the relationship. Woman need to fight for their rights to their own bodies the media is one of the main influences of why woman don’t feel so comfortable in their own skin. In this patriarchy society woman need to fight for their rights to feel perfect the way they are. Women don’t need to have thin body, flat tummy, big butt and big boobs to feel sexy in their own skin. It is a matter of confidence in oneself and by ignoring the superficial ads of unrealistic bodies. Though it is quiet tough not being a critic of oneself especially as a woman all you need is patience and surround yourself with positive energy. One way of achieving that is first by getting out of destructive relationships like the one Jasmine was in it only brought down her self-system and had done something she wouldn’t have done if she wasn’t under pressure. Woman has a right to their own body and that should be controlled by anyone. Many of the women enhance their boobs to impress their partners though many say they are doing it for themselves while in fact they fell into the trap the media set up. The media is the one to blame for this trend to have big boobs which have increased numbers of people going to have plastic surgery to enhance their boobs. There is no thought from the surgeons / doctors of how it will affect the body in Jasmine’s case it almost nearly took her life.

    Comment by Tasnim D. — October 30, 2012 @ 11:50 am

  14. Some women have implants because they completely hate the way they look, the implants give them more confidence and can make them feel more like a woman. Now having said that the choice of undergoing cosmetic surgery has to be completely your own, never opt for surgery to satisfly somebody else as this will surely come back at you. Very, very sad that any cosmetic procedures dont come out the way they were intended!

    Comment by PanteaP — October 31, 2012 @ 9:45 pm

  15. I believe that this article demonstrates the shift in perspective that people can have due to someones appearance changing. Even though Jasmin had countless health issues and her life was potentially at risk, her husband still had the nerve to suggest she get implants AGAIN. Not only did he have his own selfish needs in mind, but all he was concentrating on was her physical traits. Tim had been the one who had forced her to get the implants in the first place and now Brad was trying to do it again is just another example of men objectifying women. It is very sad that Jasmin had to go through so much pain before she could find one doctor who agreed that these implants were killing her.

    Comment by Michelle G — November 6, 2012 @ 8:56 am

  16. This is a sad and heartbreaking story.I don’t think a women should ever be forced to get implants and that they should be appreciated for the natural features they have.If a guy doesn’t like how she is naturally then he should forget about being with her.I like girls that are natural and not the ones that have 5 plastic surgeries.I think Brad is extremely disrespectful and rude for not caring about his wife’s needs over his.I don’t like how these doctors didn’t care about how she was feeling either.A doctor should always care and try to help their patient as much as possible,especially when they are in so much pain.

    Comment by Saman M. — November 10, 2012 @ 5:44 pm

  17. I feel incredibly empathic towards Jasmine. Girls are put under so much pressure in order to fit this ideal body type. When girls get plastic surgery they rarely do it for themselves but rather for their boyfriend, or so they can be deemed acceptable to society. I am flabbergasted at the fact that Jasmine’s ex boyfriend Brad at the audacity to indirectly ask her to get another pair of breast implants when he witnessed the damage they had done to Jasmine emotionally and physically the first time. Im also curious how men can still be attracted to something when they are so obviously fake. Brad knows that these implants are fake yet he feels that Jasmine needs them in order for him to get turned on. This shows how completely deranged and brainwashed people are by the media.

    Comment by Jasmine B (Women Studies 10 scholars t,th) — November 15, 2012 @ 4:49 pm

  18. I believe this is one of many stories that have been caused as a result of the beauty standard caused by the media. I strongly believe Brad has been cultivated a standard of beauty by the media through the millions of images that the media depicts. As we discussed in our class, beauty has been socially and historically constructed which is another influence on Brads perspective of beauty. I think Jasmine had a problem of being accepted and loved by others which many people do but when it comes to achieving the ideal body type and beauty, it is misleading when it is depicted by the media. This type of beauty is clearly an unrealistic and unattainable. Each an ever image is now photo shopped or altered in some ways which could bring about problems of discontent ad encourage young woman get implants like Jasmine did.

    Comment by JoseB — November 19, 2012 @ 3:29 pm

  19. Reading this article made me nauseous because I know this happens more often then not. Unfortunately every woman I know at one point will alter her body and face to fit some beauty idea. I am appalled at the lack of professionalism the doctors showed to a patient. Regardless if the implants were causing a health risk (which they were) the desire to have them removed and not having that as an option right away is striking and extremely absurd. The bizarre standards that the “husbands” had insisted on I feel is the epitome of patriarchal sense of control and that the man makes all the decisions for the woman and children “they are his to do as he pleases”. At one point I hope those men learn their lesson and see that looks fade, and you need to be in love with the inner world. I am so happy to know Jasmine has such a wonderful friend who was there to support her and encourage what she felt was the right choice for herself. It is absolutely wonderful to know that few doctors who understand the concerns of the patient and help them achieve a healthy goal. May we all get to a place where no one can manipulate us to be someone we don’t intend to be.

    Comment by MilaB — November 20, 2012 @ 1:16 am

  20. Wow, I just learned so much from this article that I didn’t know before. I didn’t know that breast implants could have those effects since they are not talked about. I found it unprofessional on the doctors part that they would not take Jasmine seriously; them as doctors should have the knowledge to take her situation seriously because had they listened to her and taken her seriously the problems that occurred would not have happened. I can’t believe how selfish and shallow Brad was instead of being happy that his wife was okay he would prefer her to get another pair of implants after nearly dying because of them. I know that the media is the main problem because they tell men to love women with big breast because that’s what’s attractive yet I think if you really love and care about a person you are not going to want to put them in a situation that can harm them. You are suppose to love them regardless of how they look because regardless when you get older looks aren’t going to matter. I think Jasmine was very strong and I admire her for not giving in again to the pressure of society to look a certain way to be considered attractive. This article made me realize things about myself I don’t just want to be aware of the beauty ideal I want to oppose it because I don’t want to be one of the many that do things to themselves in order to fit into society’s beauty ideal.

    Comment by WendyA — November 24, 2012 @ 3:30 pm

  21. This article was painful to read. The measures young women are willing to take to fit into the norm patriarchal society gives us are unbelievable and worse to loved. They take risks that could have serious consequences on their health. Like Jasmine in the article who felt necessary to keep the love of her partner, Tim, by all costs. She received breast implants in exchange for marriage. What makes such an issue even more disturbing is that cosmetic surgery isn’t considered an extreme measure. Society has made cosmetic surgery such a light topic. From nose job procedures during your teen years to breast implants as a reward when you graduate from high school. Even young celebrities feel necessary to get cosmetic surgery to have the opportunity of staying famous a little longer. The path to being beautiful shouldn’t be one that puts our lives in danger and it definitely shouldn’t be as important as society makes it to be.

    Comment by RosaE — November 25, 2012 @ 2:47 pm

  22. This is an amazing story and I have learned a lot from it. This story showed me how there can be many consequences when it comes to listening to other people’s desires. Every man should accept a woman for what she looks like, including who she really is. This story saddens me to know about the issues and situations Jasmine had suffered just because her ex husband wanted her to have a great appearance in breast size. I believe a man like that is a man who has disrespect for women and doesn’t accept a women for her natural physical features. I am happy to know that Jasmine made the right decision by removing her implants, becoming healthier and stronger. This story impacted me very much and I hope it can impact other women and young girls as well.

    Comment by SheerlyA — November 27, 2012 @ 4:33 pm

  23. It really upsets me to hear that even though they could have caused her to lose her life, Brad still wanted Jasmine to get new implants. Did he only marry her for her breasts? Is he that inconsiderate that he would put his desire to be with someone with large breasts over his wife’s health? Or has he just been so brainwashed by the media that a woman’s appearance has become more important to him than her other attributes and qualities. I hope Jasmine stays strong and finds a man who appreciates her for who she really is rather than merely for her appearance.

    Comment by JasminB — November 28, 2012 @ 7:29 pm

  24. It really is unbelievably heart-breaking that Jasmine actually did the initial implants in order to be worthy of getting married to Brad, whose idea of a real woman are utterly disgusting. And even after she has all the complications with the implants and decides to have them removed he says that it was his right to be married to a “large breasted woman” when she was never a large breasted woman in the first place, which means he could never loved her with or without the breasts. She was merely an object to him, an object for his satisfaction only. It’s is depressing that women fall in love with men that require them to change any physical aspects of themselves. Would he have altered anything about himself!? Probably not, he would have found another woman who was happy with what he had or did not have. Why do women allow men to objective them like this!!!?

    Comment by Anhjia L — December 1, 2012 @ 3:31 pm

  25. I find this article representing not only what Jasmine had to go through but what many women and young girls face today in the current times. Women are objectified and their self-worth is often placed on their body image and what society thinks of it. Women are objectified and they think that if they have bigger breasts they are seen as more desirable by men. Many women choose to go under the knife to get breast implants. In the case of men, they are cultivated by images of women with big breasts which are photoshoped and they think that only women with big breasts can satisfy them.

    Comment by Angella F — December 2, 2012 @ 9:39 pm

  26. We were brought into this earth with all different forms of breast. Just because mine hang a little lower than the next person, doesn’t mean i need plastic surgery. Men’s perceptions of the female appearance has definitely made an impact of on how we view ourself. Its hurtful to hear some guys opinions about our breast. Many guys are so use to seeing fake , plastic surgery enhanced boobs, they forget what real, healthy ones look like. This has made many women have low self esteem and hate themselves because of how others view them. We need groups for women that help them embrace there healthy maybe not so perky breast.

    Comment by CourtyanaF — December 3, 2012 @ 1:11 pm

  27. This is a true, heartbreaking story and perhaps the only thing sadder than this is the reality that stories like this still exist. The fact that women must surgically alter their bodies to fit standards of beauty that are deemed fit by a patriarchal society is depressing. The media plays a huge role in cultivating this unreal standard of beauty that many women use to judge their bodies with. The amount of money we spend on makeup, hair products, fragrances, etc is not enough because society tells us we must spend money on plastic surgery too. If society valued a woman’s mind more than her body there would be a lot more women walking around with master’s degrees instead of boob jobs. Therefore, men have noticed our ability to be smarter than them and have hindered us from reaching educational goals by pointing out our flaws instead.

    Comment by Andrea C — December 3, 2012 @ 2:57 pm

  28. This ideal beauty for all girls and women is outrageous because of all the complications women have to go through to be accepted in this society. Yet, I have also notice that this ideal of beauty is deeply imbedded in us all both men and women. My mother, older sisters and I criticize my younger sister only twelve. After reading this, hooks book “Communion” and taking Women Studies it disgustes me how far us women go to fulfill this unreachable ideal of feminine beauty! It makes me regret joining my sisters and mother in criticizing my younger sister, debating if she’ll have large breast like my paternal grandmother or a big gluteus maximus like my mothers. Instead of teaching ourselves and my younger sister that we should love ourselves before we love anyone else, that’s including our bodies, we start teaching them that physical beauty is the important thing to us women. This teaching of self value towards each women should be taught at middle schools. Books such as hooks, “Communion: The Female Search for Love” should be assign and analyze because it teaches you how to value yourself and how to stop patriarchal thinking. Teaching this would help many women that have gone through what Jasmine has or maybe it might even bring an end to this ridiculous ideal female beauty.

    Comment by ElizabethR — December 3, 2012 @ 3:44 pm

  29. Reading this article and Jasmine’s story I was honestly moved. It broke my heart that the men she dated only would go for her if she had large breasts. Sometimes the things women do for men can honestly go way out of hand and its just so sad. Women are always falling into men’s traps and later paying a major consequence because of it. Women need to start loving themselves for who they are and how they look to prevent such stupid actions. It’s very hard living in a society where us women aren’t valued for who we are and are just valued by our looks. It is sad to hear that women have to undergo such risks in order to fit and be “loved.” In my opinion, going under the knife shouldn’t have been created in the first place. This only gave men the idea that all women can be like Barbie; made of plastic.

    Comment by Shaina M — December 3, 2012 @ 4:27 pm

  30. No affence but the woman was stupid in this article because any woman that would change herself so dramaticly for any man is beyound explainations of crazy. She gave in to the stereo type woman that most men want, as soon as this guy said he would like her better if her breast was bigger should have been her hint to leave him not give him what he wanted. But on the other hands it’s hard trying to get a guy’s attention when all he wants is what he see’s in magazines and on tv the artificial woman. I have a friend that I went to high school with and she was crying for a breast reduction, see she was only about sixteen and was geneticly blessed with double D breast and she hated it, she said her back always hurt and trying to find affordtable bra’s that fit her was a nightmare and after hearing she goes through with her breast made me even more happy with my own size. This woman fell into the what a man needs from you type deal instead of what makes her happy, but at least now she learned a lesson that she is perfect just the way she is and she doesn’t need to change to please no one but herself if she wants, which is a lesson that so many of us females need to learn and soon before we all make the same mistake this woman did just to please a man.

    Comment by Carmel — December 3, 2012 @ 7:42 pm

  31. It is absolutely awful how people could make some desicions for your own body and change the way you look. I love the natural body, women without make up, because its who we really are. It upsets me to see people caring so much about what other people think of them. everyone is special and amazing in their own unique way. to want to change something about your self because they don’t like it is horrible.

    Comment by Kevin Y — December 3, 2012 @ 7:54 pm

  32. This story truly did open my eyes to see that woman shouldn’t feel the need to risk their lives to appease other men, especially ones who they love and who are supposed to love you back no matter what. Why is it that any plastic surgery is primarily female based?! We as woman must love ourselves with what we have and we shouldn’t feel the need to change for anyone. I, personally, have contemplated getting a breast augmentation, but when I look back it wasn’t a desire to make myself feel better but it was for the primary reason of how men will look differently at me. I no longer feel the need to get fake breasts and I wish other woman could do the same and see Jasmines story as a reason not to either.

    Comment by NedaM — December 3, 2012 @ 8:35 pm

  33. After reading Communion and this article, I don’t understand why love in a patriarchal society sets woman up for failure? They set you up for this idea oh if you are beautiful a man will love you and everything will be great, but you cant stay in their idea of beauty forever so what happens then? Well exactly what happened to jasmine, you get cheated on and abandoned feeling like you are no good. You don’t realize though thats what patriarchy is telling men to do and setting them up for just like they are doing with woman and the idea that beauty is love. Men are show everyday the type of woman they are suppose to be with to be something, and a woman thats rail skinny and has huge breasts are it. That idea is unrealistic and sets men up to fail at love too. Its true that we need to critique sexiest thinking so that both men and woman find love.

    Comment by Lucy M — December 3, 2012 @ 9:42 pm

  34. This is really unbelivable! And upsetting. Im surprised that doctors would go as far as to tell her she was delusional. It is unfortunate that Jasmine isn’t the only one who had to/ is facing such high demands for physical perfection. Im always surprised that men will just come-out and tell women that they need to have surgery, or some other type of alteration in order to be desired. I’ve had been in several relationships with men, that have either asked me to lose wight or change my nose, straighten my hair etc. Its very offensive and hurtful to constantly hear that you are not good enough the way you are. I can’t imagine ever telling a man that I would only marry him if he has big muscles, and if he doesn’t have the genes for, them he should get implants. Its ridiculous taking a step back and thinking about it.

    Comment by OliviaW — December 3, 2012 @ 10:07 pm

  35. This article proves how dangerous our oppressive standard of beauty can be. It’s positively horrifying how men are allowed to believe that they can pressure a woman into changing her looks just for him. That he has the right to have the perfect woman, while women have to seek fake love from mediocre men who only want them for their bodies. It is disgusting how all of the doctors she went to treated her like she was crazy because she didn’t want to have huge breast anymore. As if there were something wrong with her for not having a porn star body. It’s disgusting how her doctors thought it was alright to give her breasts larger than what she had agreed to. Women are expected to literally suffer to please men. And when Jasmine fought back, the men in her life turned from her as if she had committed some great crime. Not only are women taught that to be loved we must conform to this dangerous and unrealistic beauty ideal, but that if we don’t, if we refuse, or if we decide that we value our health over our looks, we will be punished. Brad turned his back on Jasmine when she refused to cut her body again to help him. He punished her, took his love from her, because she refused to honor his “right” to have the kind woman that he wanted. It’s disgusting.

    Comment by Tiana R.Q — December 4, 2012 @ 6:29 pm

  36. This article was one of the most interesting articles for me. I think it is horrible that some men only love women because of their bodies. And once their bodis get a little out of shape, they leave them or cheat on them. This makes women seem like they are a type of property, like the man owns her. Men should love women for the person they are, but unfortunately that is not true in some cases. I believe that this is why many women have insecurities about their bodies. It is because men and the media put so much pressure into “looking perfect”, rather than having a good personality.

    Comment by Tiffany N. — December 4, 2012 @ 7:59 pm

  37. It is horrifying to know how far women can go to obtain the body image force upon us by the patriarchy society we live in. The normative about beauty that patriarchy has constructed and lead a woman like Jasmine to obtain it but in risk of losing her own life. This beauty image of a woman shown by the media make man believe that’s what is the type of women they should end up with but reality is difference. Once men start realizing that real women don’t look like the ones air brush then they start demanding changes in the woman. Women tend to satisfy men in order to obtain that love that patriarchy says women need but after reading Communion I learn that one has to have self-love in order to have affections for someone else and one’s body.

    Comment by Gisela D — December 5, 2012 @ 12:13 am

  38. In our society, being worthy is being wanted by a man. For a woman within patriarchy, our ‘goal’ is to be desired and loved by a heterosexual male. In this case, this poor woman was so wanting to please that she got breast implants in order to please a spouse. I personally feel like this correlates to the objectification of women. With the breast implants, she became like an object, an object for her husbands use. She no longer had sensation in her breast, and so like a doll they no longer truly belonged to her, but her husband. The fact that she went through so much to get them removed and almost died, also demonstrates how male doctor stigmatize women. They want to say we’re just being emotional or irrational, when there is a legitimate reason that we’re seeking medical help. Men want to dominate and control, whether we like it or not. The optimistic ending however, shows that she didn’t need those breast to define her true character.

    Comment by soleilh — December 5, 2012 @ 12:37 am

  39. One of the women in my family got breast implants too because she felt so insecure and she was always self conscious of her small breast size. Although, she has no heart-wrenching story like Jasmine, it shows that my family member felt pressure whether it was from society, friends, family or all, to get another ideal body. Stating that her natural body wasn’t good enough and that in order for her to get/be loved she needed to change. What really upset me more than anything about this article were the doctors. Professional doctors who are suppose to help and heal people, turned her away stating that she’s over dramatic and “crazy” when she was clearly in pain. But I’m glad she was smart enough, to do her own little research and to take care of herself until she found a right doctor.

    Comment by Mita S. — December 5, 2012 @ 1:09 am

  40. I think God made every woman beautiful. She didn’t have to do implants because the guy didn’t want to marry her. She could have found someone else to marry that would accept her for her and not what he wanted. There are many guys that love ladies with smaller breast. I feel sorry for her because she didn’t need to please him just because he wanted her breast to increase in size. They should of removed it for her because she didn’t want them. She paid for them so she has the right to remove them at any time she wanted.

    Comment by InokeT — December 5, 2012 @ 11:46 am

  41. What a sad article. It’s great that Jasmine is now alive and well, but to have to go through so much and be denied by medical doctors and her husband is terrible. And all for large breasts. And the fact that Jasmine didn’t even like the attention they brought her and that she didn’t even want them in the first place shows how patriarchy can really rule a woman’s life. To altar your body for a man so he will marry you is very sad.

    Comment by Taylor W — December 5, 2012 @ 7:44 pm

  42. Firstly, women should be accepted as they are and should not change the way they look just to impress others. She did not have to get breast implants in order for the man to marry her. I think the best thing she could have done is not marry him and found someone else who would appreciate just the way she is. Him doing this to her caused her so much pain and trouble because not only did one of her breast implants explode, but it also led to her becoming insecure and self-conscious about her breast size.

    Comment by Shahriar M. — December 6, 2012 @ 12:38 am

  43. This is really disturbing. I too have rather small breasts, and my boyfriend made me extremely insecure about my boobs as well. He made me feel as though I would be perfect if I had boobs, but without them I wouldn’t be. However, being 105 lbs. and a B cup, anything bigger on my petite body would just be… disproportional. I even used to get emails on Facebook where people would say, “Your profile picture would be the most perfect picture if your boobs were bigger”. This made me insanely insecure and I started wearing push up bras, saving up till I was of the age to buy my own pair of boobs. I then started to look into feminism and women studies and learned to love my body, and love the way I was created… flat chested.

    Comment by Carolyne A — December 6, 2012 @ 12:51 am

  44. I think Jasmine should have realized her worth before doing something as drastic as cosmetic surgery for a man to accept her. I do not understand why any woman who loved herself and accepted herself would want to marry a man who didnt accept her. I dont find anything wrong with breast implants, but i believe it should be something done for yourself and for your own happiness, not for the acceptance of others. If its something your insecure about than i completely understand, but if its something other people make you insecure about, than you have to re evaluate which type of people you have in your life and if they are worth having the ability to criticize you.

    Comment by Segal M. — December 6, 2012 @ 1:11 am

  45. A lot of women are insecure due to the size of their breasts. I find this article a bit overwhelming and disturbing. Women should be proud of their body’s and the way that they are. I personally do not mind if a women gets implants, but I do mind if it is for the wrong reason, such as trying to please others and getting it if it is the only way to be accepted by another person. I think if a women decides to get implants, then it should be for her and her only. Many guys do find it attractive and sex appealing, but it should not be a determining factor for a guy whether to dump a girl because of the small breasts.

    Comment by Edwin P — January 22, 2013 @ 4:31 pm

  46. When I first saw the title of this article, I immediately thought of myself. As a generally thin woman, my breasts match the rest of my body and my biggest problem with my body and the leading cause of my self-confidence issues has always been the size of my breasts. For the past few years I have been thinking about getting a “boob job” in my mid twenties, however, after reading this article I quickly changed my mind. I was completely aware of the dangerous risks that are involved with this procedure. Not only would I be risking my health, but also I began to question my silly, socialized mentality of having the “perfect” body. Why can’t I accept my body the way it is now? Although men would find my body more physically attractive after getting a breast implant, I recently realized that it is not worth the pain and risk. Why would I go through so much pain and risk just to please men?

    Comment by Shannon He — January 31, 2013 @ 12:05 pm

  47. This story about Jasmine was really educational and interesting for me. After reading this, i can’t believe how many women have to try to adjust themselves to one narrow image. This is honestly very wrong and dangerous for women. It is very upsetting to see that women have to change their image for the men who view them. Women shouldn’t be changing their breast size and shape to satisfy men.Women should be liked for their natural image and for their natural beauty. Also i honestly didn’t know that some of these breast implants could be detrimental to the health of women. Women should definitely not try to change their physical appearance if it has any negative health consequences. Women should start to like their beautiful bodies for what they naturally are and stop trying to conform to what the media portrays of these unnatural images.

    Comment by Michael Z — February 1, 2013 @ 1:07 pm

  48. Sadly, this article is very relatable to many women, myself included. I dated a guy once who when looking at my breasts, said “we could definitely arrange a breast implant.” It is comments like that that make girls and women feel less adequate simply because their breasts are not the size that is desired by their partner. That is that sad reality of our time. Women should be better educated on that fact that is absolutely okay to not perfect, that flaws only make you more of a human being.

    Comment by Sam B. — February 3, 2013 @ 11:05 pm

  49. There always seems to be a but, an exception. As someone who has considered breast implants on a pretty consistent basis, this story has opened my eyes. It has given me pause to consider the reasons I want breast implants. If I am being honest, the only reason why I want them is for the attention I would gather from the opposite sex. They would add something. For once, I would get to be the “hot girl”. Gosh, that sounds so disgusting. Can I go back to believing that they are for me, for my self-empowerment? Knowing this is the reason why I haven’t done proceeded with it. Being truthful, I may always struggle with the decision to go through, with it but I know I probably never will because I feel as though the decision to do so will not be my personal decision, but one based on the perceptions of myself through others. Also, Jasmine’s fiancé’s are representations of so many people that make women and even “others” on the whole feel less than because they don’t meet some fantasized criteria. It’s disgusting and the only way for it to stop is for more women, people like Jasmine to come forward and rise up against

    Comment by Jewel B — February 4, 2013 @ 11:16 pm

  50. The ideal body of a goddess: slim, long wavy hair, large breasts, an eye catching buttocks and an extremely small waist. It is upsetting to know that a man cannot adore you for what you are, and what you physically look like, or even your personality. Men must understand that every women is unique in their own way, as we all have a different kind of body. A great example would have to be Kim Kardashian. She is a “goddess” which every man believes to be perfect! She has great breasts, a slim waste, long black hair, and a giant buttocks. When males see her as a perfect 10, women begin to think that are not physically good looking. As the media portrays these images, it may cause women to become depressed, and possibly get plastic surgery done on their breasts, face, lips, and almost anywhere else on their body!

    Comment by Yasmin F — February 5, 2013 @ 3:13 pm

  51. Nowadays many girls, out of high school get nose jobs or breast implants as a graduation gift. I don’t think they know what they’re getting themselves into. when someone thinks of plastic surgery they skip the dangerous and risky part and just picture themselves after recovery. what they don’t know is that recovery is a very long process and sometimes those surgeries don’t turn out as effective as planned. This article is an example of a women that had a plastic surgery with a desire of seeking male attention, it was only a matter of time till all those feelings of desire shifted to feelings of regret. This women was perfectly fine and healthy before undergoing such a process. This article also shows us how far some women can go in order to satisfy those high standards imposed in the media. Nevertheless, the only way for it to stop is for women to come forwards and realize how wrong it is. After all isn’t it better late than never?

    Comment by Mariya A — February 5, 2013 @ 5:01 pm

  52. This is an amazing true article, which brings out a beautiful message. Every woman has felt something like this- being judged by our looks and not our hearts. Always trying to look better for the world , to be perfect in everyone’s eyes. The best way to fight this mentality is as he says“create new ways of seeing ourselves”.

    Comment by Ashley H. — February 7, 2013 @ 12:49 am

  53. I am so disappointed in the way some males act. Its heartbreaking knowing how control men can be. Jasmine’s self-esteem is probably ruined from all of this commentary she received. In our society today, breast implants are very common. Many females get them to build confidence. I agree that if your self-esteem is low then by all means go get surgery to feel better about yourself. I feel it was unfair that Jasmine had to get breast implants because her partner wanted her to get them. Even after her surgery, she was getting attention that she did not want. She was a thin woman with HUGE breasts. I don’t understand why a guy can be so controlling? A male should appreciate a females for who she is inside and the curves should just be an extra addition to the girl. It bothers me that men feel they are so superior to woman. We need equality!!!! We need to be accepted for who we are because we are not all perfect. Never take life for granted.

    Comment by Jnaziri — April 1, 2013 @ 8:41 am

  54. I read this article when I took Sociology 1 two summers ago when I was still in high school, but reading it again now as a college student I feel that I can relate to this issue a bit more. Everyday the media is setting the standards for the way a beautiful girl should look higher and higher. Twelve year old girls are already starting to get nose jobs. People ignore health risks and simply care about beauty. I entirely disagree with this mentality. I do not think that Jasmine’s boyfriend really loved her. If he truly cared about her he would not even think about asking her when she will get another boob job. I think that when a man loves a woman he cares about her health. A man who really loves a woman will not solely think about his wife and or girlfriend as a trophy or as a object his good looks was able to get him. That is unacceptable! A man should love a woman for more important things than her breasts. I know that Brad is not the only man out there like this. A man’s job is not to try to make a woman be confident and comfortable with herself. I think that each individual must learn to appreciate their own bodies and be thankful for their health. Beauty is not everything, but society makes it seem like it is. Jasmine sadly got sucked into the pressures society places on beauty. I am sure that if she did not alter her body for another person’s pleasure she would be much happier. If she really wanted to have this procedure done because it was something that bothered her than that is an entirely different situation, but the way it seems, it seems as though she did it only because her first boyfriend said it was her one imperfection. Imperfections make people who they are. They should only be changed if the individual wants them to be changed. People should not change themselves for other people.

    Comment by Ariella M — April 11, 2013 @ 7:30 pm

  55. This story was vey heart breaking. I can’t believe that men have such a huge control on how their partners feel about their body. If it was jasmine’s decision to make it without her partner telling her to get it then I doubt she would do it. And the fact that the doctor wouldn’t even allow her to remove it sickened me even more. Jasmine’s fiancé should have loved her for her real body and praise her for not looking or trying to look like a Barbie doll. Natural beauty is important not fake implants. I’m with Jasmine 100 percent and love the fact that she spending her life as a feminist I mean after having two guys being with her and didn’t appreciate her body the way it was I would also become one.

    Comment by Jasmin H — May 2, 2013 @ 4:21 pm

  56. Honestly speaking, I have thought of getting breast implants. Now that I have more knowledge of patriarchy, I realized that if I get implants it is not because of me, but because of men’s image of the perfect woman and me trying to achieve it. It saddens me that your friend Jasmine had her heart broken and almost died because of the wrong guys that wanted her to change her looks for their own pleasure. She is lucky to have a friend like you that can help her see that she does not need a man to feel whole. I like to believe that if I were in the same situation as Jasmine, I would have walked away from Tim when he said I was not perfect because I did not have large breast. With the images we have now surrounding us of women with large breast, it does intimidate me and makes me feel insecure because if I do not look like that I won’t be found attractive.

    Comment by Maria A. — May 5, 2013 @ 1:32 pm

  57. This was a truly sad story to read. It is so aweful that women feel the need to change themselves in order to receive approval from a man who is probably far from perfect. To put yourself under the knife to satisfy the need of another person is ridiculous and should never happen. Girls need to grow up with the confidence that they are beautiful and they should never let anyone’s comments, especially men, affect them in any way. It is especially disgusting how her second husband asked her when she is ready to put new implants in after all those medical issues she was going through. If someone would rather you look good than to be healthy, they have serious problems and should seek mental help. I am glad she divorced him and I hope she will forever be strong for herself and keep her health without the negative comments others make of her. True beauty is good health and happiness.

    Comment by Ashley K. — May 9, 2013 @ 4:39 pm

  58. While I am very glad that Jasmine was able to return to good health, I am absolutely disgusted with the way men treated her. We put such an emphasis on breasts and having a perfectly sculpted body, that we are willing to put women’s lives in danger in order to satisfy men’s longing for a “perfect” set of boobs. These implants almost killed her, yet her ex-husband could only think of what he wanted when it came to his ideal of feminine beauty. Sad to say, I am not surprised by his reaction. Her experience with Western doctors who condescendingly denied her life-saving operations are also commonplace, considering how many women die from heart disease because of maltreatment.
    This one-dimensional beauty ideal is being reinforced everyday through advertisements, television, movies, magazines, and pornography. Although these images are ingrained in our subconscious minds and take years of training and resistance to combat, we should start early with the next generation: ban advertising in schools, teach media literacy, and provide them with the tools to differentiate one-dimensional views of beauty from the reality of our anatomy. Although we are told everyday otherwise, our bodies and beautiful and wonderful in their own unique ways, and it’s time we let everyone know.

    Comment by Chandler L. — May 9, 2013 @ 11:42 pm

  59. It really made me sad to read this. This story really shows the effects and the extent to which we go in order to achieve beauty. We are constantly being told that our appearance is what is most important and that we need to look a certain way to succeed and find a real relationship. It also shows that achieving this look isn’t all we must learn to do but to also maintain it, no matter what the cost. And if we don’t meet such standards of beauty then we are easily replaced by another- which also puts us in competition with one another. The inability to achieve such unrealistic goals only brings down our self esteem which doesn’t allow us to love ourselves.

    The fact that these men felt that they had the right to demand such harmful changes to this woman’s body for their pleasure shows how patriarchy and sexism can be detrimental for both women and men. They were so blinded by their male privilege that they couldn’t even see this- they blamed this woman rather than themselves. It’s a shame.

    Comment by Zury C. — May 21, 2013 @ 8:13 pm

  60. This astonishing article sadly covers only one of the stories that the majority of women in America are dealing with nearly everyday. In this country, all the hype is about disproportional bodies that are unattainable by nature. All models are shown with size 0 waistlines and D cups, making many women feel obligated to look like. It is so disgusting how none of Jasmine’s male companions appreciated her true beauty, but rather constantly emotionally abused her to look like their own images of the ideal beauty. What is even more shameful are men’s dangerous expectations and pressure on women who don’t want to have plastic and cosmetic surgeries.

    Comment by RoxanaGM — May 24, 2013 @ 7:16 am

  61. This is my favorite article I have come read so far. I can definitely relate to Jasmine in the way that we both were born with small boobs. My whole like I have dreamed of my boobs just sprouting into the perfect size, but I am still waiting. Sometimes I feel less feminine because I have never grown out of my bras that I wore in high school. What I got out of this article is to love your body the way it is. Everyone is made in all different shapes and sizes and looking one way is not any better than looking another way. It is society that sets standards for the way a woman should look and it is repulsive to think that we are judged based on another woman’s image. I learned from this article that changing yourself for someone else is not going to make you love yourself anymore. Changing yourself for you is what is going to cure these insecurities we all experience at some point. God blessed us each with different traits that shape us and we should never let anyone, especially a man, take that away from us! Our world is a corrupt patriarchal system that women need to break free from and start doing things for themselves. I applaud Jasmine for removing her breasts and staying strong through everything she endured and hope that people realize the danger in altering their bodies.

    Comment by Danielle B. — May 24, 2013 @ 8:49 pm

  62. I feel absolutely terrible for this woman. What a tragic story. No person should sacrifice their health for beauty – particularly for someone else’s perception of beauty rather than their own. I would hate to be trapped inside a body that I did not desire – yet, it appears that this is what many women are doing. Where I used to live, it was common for girls to recieve breast implants as a high school graduation gift. One of my very good friend’s father is a plastic surgon, and his most common procedure is breast implants. Once, I asked her what her thoughts where on the subject. Her answer surprised me. She said that she thought it was great, and that their self esteem was raised immensely after the procedure. I would have to disagree with her. By conforming your body into society’s image of beauty, you are depending completely on society in order to fulfill your self esteem and happiness. There is no possible way that you would ever be able to fully love yourself if you are looking for appreciation and confirmation outside of yourself.

    Comment by Presley B — May 25, 2013 @ 12:18 pm

  63. This article was truly inspiring and important for every woman to hear. After reading this article, I realized how shallow and disgusting some men could be. It is extremely sad to see how many men only care about the exterior of a woman and how big her breasts are or how big her butt is. I find it disgusting how our society has put such a big emphasis on the need for big breasts and butt, in order to be beautiful. Aside from the fact that our society has put an unnecessary importance on this, I believe it is important for women to firstly understand that big breasts and butts are not important. Secondly, rather than being upset about having small features, it is important to know how it can actually be a benefit for a woman to not have big breasts. When a guy walks around, the first thing her notices on a woman might be her breasts, especially when a woman reveals herself with a low shirt. Women have the choice to wear whatever outfits they want. However, it is important to understand that the way you present yourself will also influence which type of people you attract. Not only are men making it a big deal for women to get breast implants, but now women are encouraging other women to get these implants as well. These implants are unhealthy in numerous ways and once a woman gets them, it is almost impossible to get examined for breast cancer due to the implants. Overall, I find the idea of breast implants unnecessary and I believe a woman should feel happy and confident in herself no matter the size of her bra, or the size of her pants; and a man has no right to tell his girlfriend, friend, or wife what to do with her body. This ideal is not real. True beauty comes from within.

    Comment by Jacqueline A. — May 25, 2013 @ 7:12 pm

  64. it really upsets me how the social media exemplifies on the fact that for a women to be truly beautiful is for her to have the whole “package” meaning a beautiful face, long silky hair, and a banging body..meaning big boobs while having a flat stomach. now the fact that one can go through plastic surgery to get the perfect boob size also makes it difficult for girls who do not have big boobs to decipher if they should take the extra step and go under the knife in order to be socially accepted and be sexy in the eyes of men. after reading this article, i have realized about the many pressures that women go through because of men and i feel for them deeply.

    Comment by solomon kreik — May 25, 2013 @ 7:28 pm

  65. After reading through this article, I stopped and pondered the measures people take to be loved and to be told that they are pretty. My belief is that men expect women to look beautiful by comparing normal women to digitally altered super models. One thing I learned from this article is that breast implants are detrimental to people’s health. I was not aware of this. Yet, women continue to go under the knife! This angers me greatly. Women should not put their health in danger, simply to please another persons desires. I feel like breast implants are similar to steriods, since they both enlarge certain parts of the body. Both are unhealthy and should be avoided.

    Comment by Bryan K — May 26, 2013 @ 9:18 pm

  66. Hooks would argue that Jasmine needed to love her self and accept her body as it is, before allowing another person in her life. It seems that her husband is trying to keep her insecure, and with low self-esteem telling her she needs to get implants to be “perfect”, which is simply his way of maintaining his power and control over her. The media has created these impossible images of perfection and socially constructed standards of beauty for each gender. The most unfortunate part was that none of the doctors seemed cared about her health. The media, appearance and money were all too important to be jeopardized over the well being of one girl. The fact that the doctors were encouraging her to keep her silicon implants regardless of the many side effects that came along with just because “she would look and feel less desirable”, exemplified how insignificant her actually existence is. That she is merely an object for mans pleasure, and nothing more. Jasmine was willing to sacrifice her life to satisfy a man who should have loved her regardless of her looks. Girls and women are constantly exposed to these unrealistic images of perfection and beauty, and are taught to believe that they are valued by the way they look. Given that, in women’s strive to be loved and be worthy of love, they are willing to endure all sorts of alterations to fit these standards of beauty. This really had an effect on me, because I realized the extent the women will go to in order to be loved, when all they really need to do is love themselves and their bodies just the way they are, and they will be happier then ever.

    Comment by Brenda S. — May 28, 2013 @ 6:18 pm

  67. It’s absurd how society keeps on changing the values and attributes that make a woman beautiful. A few decades back, larger women were considered to be beautiful because that’s what was the norm for a woman ages ago. Nowadays people tend to emphasize on breast size so much that it is causing severe cases of low self-esteem, and other such bad habits—such as eating disorders, “yo-yo” diets, etc. This is ridiculous beyond belief in my opinion; women should not have to listen to others to give them critique on their own bodies. Women surely don’t go off telling men to enlarge their penis, and then the same should be so vice-versa. The pressure in today’s society to get breast enlargement is a major epidemic and the system of patriarchy, in addition to the media are at fault.

    Comment by Eli-Ran Y — May 28, 2013 @ 9:38 pm

  68. I’d be a liar if I said I had never considered breast implants. It’s actually pretty crazy to me how us women WILLINGLY go under the knife for no real health purpose, simply to fit an “ideal” image of beauty and sex appeal. I’m a thin girl with very few curves and small breats, and I always felt “if only my boobs were just one cup size bigger!” That seems to be the mentality of every woman. If only X, then we’ll be happier/prettier/nicer. Reality check for all of us: it doesn’t work like that. Changing ourselves from the outside doesn’t change who we are on the inside, and it most definitely doesn’t make us perfect. it isn’t the “only” thing, because once we have it and once the happiness and self-esteem wears off, we want something else. The only way to change that feeling is to change our perspective on what needs to be “fixed”. Our physical appearance is perfect the way it is. The only damage is the damage society has put us through emotionally. Like mentioned in the post, once we love ourselves, we love our body. We begin to look past the “flaws” and start to highlight our beauty, strutting our stuff and flaunting BECAUSE WE CAN. It took me many years to love my small breasts and appreciate them. I often made pros and cons lists and though they helped, it wasn’t until I just had the realization that I’m BEAUTIFUL, small or big breasts, skinny or fat, thigh gap or thighs touching. When you feel beautiful, you glow. I’m not perfect, but my small breasts are perfect for ME and the way I chhoose to go about them says a lot about my personality (i.e., no bras for the feminist hippies, unless absolutely necessary). 🙂

    Comment by Ambar P. — May 29, 2013 @ 7:12 pm

  69. I completely feel for Jasmine. She was treated so horribly by those two guys, and I completely understand why she would have confidence and body image issues. They are both disgusting individuals, and I hope they know what it feels like one day to feel how she did. What was really shocking was how many of the doctors told her to leave her implants in despite her failing health and the common sense conclusion that it was probably the implants causing her health issues (even though they said it was unrelated)– that was rather disturbing, and scary. You would figure there may be one doctor like that, but to have “countless” doctors blow her off is just mind-blowing, and makes me very scared about the medical system we are in. But I hope Jasmine recovered from what has happened to her and that she is happy and with a man who loves and respects her for who she is as a person, and feels she is beautiful, regardless of breast implants.

    Comment by Cristine B — May 30, 2013 @ 12:42 am

  70. Women and young girls have so much pressure to be perfect that some are willing to do anything to be loved and be accepted. The fact that Jasmine put her life in danger for his ex husband’s desire demonstrates how dangerous it can be to follow the attributes of what society considers beautiful. It is gross how sexist men can be. Men truly see when as objects of desire. Men think that all women are suppose to look like the models they see in the media. It disgusting!!!! It absurd that after Jasmine began to have several health issues Brad still had the nerve to suggest she get them done again! Men can be real asshole. Men don’t understand how pressured we are to try and look perfect. Men do not have to deal with social pressure to have big boobs, a small waist, and a big butt. Men will never understand how difficult it is to be a women in today’s society.

    Comment by Johanna J — July 9, 2013 @ 4:08 pm

  71. Women and young girls have so much pressure to be perfect that some are willing to do anything to be loved and be accepted. The fact that Jasmine put her life in danger for her ex husband’s desire demonstrates how dangerous it can be to follow the attributes of what society considers beautiful. It is gross how sexist men can be. Men truly see women as objects of desire. Men think that all women are suppose to look like the models they see in the media. It’s disgusting!!!! It’s absurd that after Jasmine began to have several health issues Brad still had the nerve to suggest she get them done again! Men can be real assholes. Men don’t understand how pressured we are to try and look perfect. Men do not have to deal with the social pressure to have big boobs, a small waist, and a big butt. Men will never understand how difficult it is to be a women in today’s society.

    Comment by Johanna J — July 9, 2013 @ 4:11 pm

  72. And this is one of the many problems women face. Yes, women peer pressure women, but men especially. Jasmine had been peer pressure by her own boyfriend to get plastic surgery at the age of eighteen. No man or women should ever do that to someone. And now Jasmine has to carry the rest of her life with the net set of boobs. And now look at where she’s at, even though I’m sure Brad does not mind the bigger boobs, but she has found a man in her life that loves her the way she is. What Jasmine should have done was to leave Tim, and realize that he is not the man for her. Overall, men and especially women should not be told whether or not they are not perfect. Everyone is beautiful in every way, and NO ONE should tell them other wise.

    Comment by NatalieM — July 10, 2013 @ 12:06 pm

  73. My initial feeling is pity for Jasmine… She was just another woman who fell victim to the beauty driven society we live in. She is not at fault for what happened to her and her story is more common than I’d like to believe. She felt the pressure that so many other women feel to look a certain way. Not only was she a victim to the pressure, but she was a victim to pain and suffering caused by the implants. It breaks my heart even more that she went under the knife at the age of 18. As someone only 4 months younger than she was at the time she underwent the surgery, I can’t imagine how impressionable she was as a young woman. It’s upsets me that she so quickly went in for a consultation after her boyfriend told her she’d be “perfect” if she had larger breasts. She was obviously vulnerable, being as young as she was, and her boyfriend probably knew that she strongly valued his opinion. Within a week from his comment, she was under the knife and that is the saddest part of it all. That just shows how much pressure she felt, not only from her boyfriend, but from the society. She must have already felt insecure about the size of her breasts and her boyfriend’s comment was most likely the validation for her to do something to change her one and only flaw. She went through years of mental and physical torture just for aesthetics. It is unfair that she, and many other woman alike go through such terrible things to make other people happy with the way that they look. If young women were taught at a young age to accept their own bodies, they wouldn’t be as easily persuaded to undergo such daunting measures for this unattainable ideal of “perfection”

    Comment by CrystalY — July 21, 2013 @ 9:32 pm

  74. I felt sorry for Jasmine because of what she was going through because it is really hard for someone to find out that they were at the point of death because of the surgery she did. This is the reason why so many women have died or regret every changing themselves just to please somebody they love or society. We need to learn to love each other by how we look because the images they show of the perfect women is not real because it is all made up and is put into being Photoshop. This was something that caused her to have issues because she or any other women will think that if their bodies are not perfect than they will not be wanted by the other men. As if there is something wrong with them which in fact is not true instead it is just a lie. I really enjoyed this article and what it had to say.

    Comment by Kimberly C — July 24, 2013 @ 4:19 pm

  75. I think this is a story that is close to many women’s hearts (no pun intended). Or at least my heart. I hate to admit it but when i was in the midst of puberty and development I looked at my own body and believed that because I didn’t have a great rack that boys wouldn’t find me attractive. I even caught myself on google looking at breast implant procedures. But not anymore, I became content with the body that I have and realized that once i started accepting and loving my own body that others would to. For some women it takes a little more than self love to have to come to that conclusion.

    Comment by Margarita H. — July 24, 2013 @ 6:27 pm

  76. It really upsets me that women are not satisfied with their natural body. People should not change the way they look at all becuase it just makes them more “fake”. Most guys like women in their natural look. just like how men dont like women with makeup its the same thing. getting breast implants or botox is just permanent makeup. Every women is beautiful and unique in their own way. No one should change anything.

    Comment by Justin N — July 24, 2013 @ 10:19 pm

  77. Needless to say, my heart is currently breaking for Jasmine. Reading this piece had me terrified for her and her well-being, and I can only pray that she is doing much better today. That having been said, what struck me most was the dichotomy of Jasmine’s story–having felt displeased and victimized by her overtly sexual body, to feeling invisible and unworthy for having gone back to her regular breast size. What an incredibly pressurized state of contradictory self-hate we are forced to live in. How is a woman ever supposed to feel good about herself? It is impossible. And I think this is the problem most enlightened women today have…the desire to be desired and yet understanding that superficial desire is fleeting and condemning, and yet feeling dissatisfied in the lacking immediacy of being desired for the “right reasons”. It sort of echoes the notion of “smart girls always want to be told that they’re pretty, pretty girls always want to be told that they’re smart.” Thusly, nothing ever feels good enough. Translation: WE are not good enough. This article proves that even with thorough examination and education of patriarchal society and a strong feminist foundation, it is still so difficult to be a woman with integrity.

    Comment by SarahC — July 25, 2013 @ 1:33 am

  78. One word: Wow. My heart goes out to Jasmine and what she has gone through. Sadly, today, men are obsessed with women’s curves–specifically their boobs/butt. The society and being considered sexy in men’s eyes have a huge impact on women. For example, Jasmine considered going under the knife again after her first breast implants almost cost her her life. However, as women we want to be desired, which is why we consider and do “enhance” ourselves for a man’s pleasure. Today, parents are giving their daughter’s breast enhancements for their graduation present. Not only are parent’s paying for this treatment, but they are essentially telling their daughter that you are not good enough the way you are. Not only this, but an 18 year old, high school graduate is too young to be going under the knife for a surgery that isn’t even needed in the first place. As many people say, “in a world of fakes, dare to be real.” There is no need to alter anything since you are already beautiful and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise! 🙂

    Comment by Joanna E. — November 2, 2013 @ 9:54 pm

  79. This is such a sad and heartbreaking story. What consoles me is that Jasmine was able to find awareness. I am sure that this one story out of many others in which women face these hardships with being confident in their natural bodies or making those superficial decisions to please a man or society. I think men are blinded about what is ideal through the media and expect women to fit that image that like proven in this article can bring long term and devastating health effects. Its like if the idea of a man being happy in a marriage or relationship relied on the attractiveness of the woman, when that should not be case. When reading the symptoms and side effects Jasmine developed, I had to stop reading because I too have an illness that impaired the structure of my eyes. Due to Graves Disease my eyes portruded and there are only limited procedures that are available, even though they bring much more risks than benefits. This disease also makes me feel like I do not fit the ideal of society because like aforementioned us “Girls and women understand from an early age that we’re primarily valued by the way we look and that if we can achieve this oppressive beauty ideal, we’ll be rewarded.”

    Comment by Julissa C — November 12, 2013 @ 2:09 pm

  80. After completely reading this article i was in complete shock and mostly definitely grossed out. The whole process of breast implants terrifying, and then to have those outcomes come about is even more frightening! The symptoms that she had were unbelievable, and I could not believe that NO doctor took her serious enough to even try to examen her. That was possibly one of the most shocking part of the reading! Then to top it off, her husband was like “when are you getting the next pair”! Like her i would have been devastated and emotionally destroyed. This was a prime example on the construction of female body image, and the power that men feel they have over woman and their bodies. This woman’s story is a prime example of male domination and patriarchy and the long struggle that women face to over come it. I feel for this woman, and hope that many other woman never have to experience this.

    Comment by Natalia T — November 13, 2013 @ 6:13 pm

  81. The men in Jasmine’s life treated her like an object for their own pleasure, which is something she and any other woman doesn’t ever deserve. The fact that they not only allowed, but encouraged her to undergo such drastic, life-threatening surgeries is so sad and heart breaking to me. Any man that needs you to alter yourself in any way for him to fully love you does not truly love you. Bell Hooks’ statement that being beautiful is about being loved is 100% accurate. Whether it is self love or love from others, many people use plastic surgery for this reason. I see this all the time in my community: women getting nose jobs, breast augmentations, Botox and an every other procedure under the sun in hopes to finally be considered conventionally beautiful. As Jasmine’s story demonstrated, these surgeries are dangerous and can seriously threaten one’s health and life. Of course, the media is to blame for a rise in these procedures. By giving both men and women a false reality of what a woman’s body should look like, women feel pressure to conform to these body standards in order to be accepted and loved. Beauty comes from within, from feeling good and doing good, and no amount of plastic surgery will ever match up to this.

    Comment by Chloe M — November 14, 2013 @ 10:10 am

  82. It is unfortunate that as women we let other people value us based on our physicality rather than our intellect. What’s even more heartbreaking is that we start valuing ourselves based on our physical look. Like in Jasmine’s case we become objectified and we learn to accept it. We began to invest so much time and money on our physical appearance and we forget what is really important. Also, we start putting our own health at risk and we do it just to be desirable. Women should be taught to be happy with the way they look and only then will women learn to put a stop to our sexual objectification.

    Comment by Leslie S — November 18, 2013 @ 11:38 am

  83. That is a very sad story on so many accounts. Jasmine had to endure a lot of obstacles just to feel loved and content in her own skin. Men will never understand the pressure women have when it comes to standards of beauty. A friend of mine had a similar situation occur with her boyfriend a few years ago. She is petite and was naturally large breasts. Being very shy she had a huge problem with the attention she got. She didn’t even feel comfortable about going to the gym because there was always some horny guy waiting to hit on her. Well she got a boyfriend at one point and everything seemed great, until she started having severe back problems. Her doctor said she would continue to have these problems because of her large breasts. So she seriously began contemplating getting a reduction. And of course, her boyfriend at the time did not approve. Isn’t that awful, that vanity and sexual arousal is more important to a man than his companions health? I just can’t imagine a woman being that selfish and backwards to put their needs and what their conditional standards are of beauty over someone’s well being.

    Comment by Serena R. — November 26, 2013 @ 3:51 pm

  84. Reading this article I was in complete shock and mostly definitely grossed out. The whole process of breast implants terrifying, and then to have those outcomes come about is even more frightening! The symptoms that she had were unbelievable, and I could not believe that NO doctor took her serious enough to even try to examine her. That was possibly one of the most shocking part of the reading! Then to top it off, her husband was like “when are you getting the next pair”! Like her i would have been devastated and emotionally destroyed. This was a prime example on the construction of female body image, and the power that men feel they have over woman and their bodies. This woman’s story is a prime example of male domination and patriarchy and the long struggle that women face to over come it. I feel for this woman, and hope that many other woman never have to experience that. This is ridiculous beyond belief in my opinion; women should not have to listen to others to give them critique on their own bodies. Women surely don’t go off telling men to enlarge their penis, and then the same should be so vice-versa. The pressure in today’s society to get breast enlargement is a major epidemic and the system of patriarchy, in addition to the media are at fault.

    Comment by CeciliaR — November 26, 2013 @ 4:14 pm

  85. Hearing what happened to Jasmine really made me feel bad because if this happened to her imagine how many more people have gone through this, maybe not this bad but they have. I do not think this is right at all, the fact that she even got the breast implants for someone who she was not married to is not okay. If he was not willing to marry her if she did not get a boob job should have proved to her that he really was not worth it because clearly he was not okay with the way she naturally was. The problem is that she should have never done it before he married her because you never know if he will actually stay, which in this case he did not. I thought it was really sad how none of the doctors would help her when there was clearly something wrong. Once she got her breast implants removed her husband asked when she is going to get new ones. She should have just left him the second he said that because clearly he was more worried about her having big boobs rather than loving her the way she is.

    Comment by Nicole R. — November 29, 2013 @ 1:59 pm

  86. It is sad to see that breast implants are becoming the norm for young women. In my experience, I have had women in my life that feel like the need breast implants to feel validated. Often I try to console them and say, “you’re beautiful the way you are.” However, we as a culture are so socialized into believing that women are more noticeable and beautiful if they have large features, like breasts. These misconceptions only lead to mistrust and low self-esteem, because not only are women seeking the wrong kind of attention they are ultimately conforming to what our cultures values in women, which in my personal opinion is very one dimensional and jaded. Our culture has commodified women to the extent in which we are actually killing, sickening, and dehumanizing them. Sadly, no matter what I say or do I cannot convince the women around me that they are truly beautiful. To them, I guess I am just an exception and until they see that the world around them see them as beautiful inside and out. They will continue to starve themselves, workout uncontrollably, and seek to distort their bodies for pleasure and gratification of others.

    Comment by Giovanni A — November 30, 2013 @ 6:17 pm

  87. Looks can kill. The fact that Jasmine was in a very critical state, she had to make her husband happy. How did she do this? by putting herself in a worse condition getting implants. Looking at this standard of women needing to have a perfect appearance to men is true, but what about the flip side? What about a good looking man who doesn’t generate income? This is the real double standard. Men have to produce X amount of dollars to get their ‘dream trophy wife’ who only possess looks. Men should stop being blamed for this, when women only go for a man’s wallet.

    Comment by Ilan G — December 1, 2013 @ 10:53 pm

  88. After reading this article I was completely left in shock! It is incredible the amount of torture and life threatening procedures women have to go through just to conform societies idea of beauty. It is very sad to see a story like this one because it happens to thousands of women that do not speak up about it. Women just like Jasmine go through with surgical procedures many times just to please others. They receive pressure not only from the media but from people they think love them like their husbands and boyfriends. This can go back to the idea of the women body being property and there for the pleasure of others. People like Jasmine’s ex-boyfriend and ex-husband encourage women to hate their body and pressure women to want to change it so that they could be loved. Like Bell Hooks said, women have to learn to love themselves and when they learn that they will be beautiful. Women need to realize that beauty is not about esthetics and pleasing others it is about loving yourself and being happy in your own skin!

    Comment by Maritza R — December 2, 2013 @ 2:39 pm

  89. Never have I heard of such blatant objectification before, at least outside of a fictional or embellished story. Jasmine’s husband Brad – and the fiancee before him – frankly disgust me. I know it isn’t fair to point a finger directly at either of the two men for their sexism (not because they’re without blame for what they pressured her into, but because they were raised in a cultural context that justifies and celebrates sexism). However, I still find myself wondering what must have been messed up in Brad’s head. The first fiancee, evidently, was a pig from the start who gave his bride-to-be an ultimatum: breast implants for a lifetime of security and married status (which in our society is supposedly the ultimate female goal). But Brad, however, promised to love his wife no matter what. He actually took vows, started a life with her, and spent years cultivating their married relationship. I can hardly bring myself to understand how, that entire time, he didn’t develop any feelings for her besides lust for her body. If he had actually loved her for her, when her breast size shrunk in a trade-off for the rest of her well-being, he would simply have been grateful to have his healthy wife back. And to top it off, this poor woman had to not only deal with the physical and mental after-effects of breast reduction surgery that essentially rendered her less valuable in our patriarchal society, but she had to deal with it alone. Imagine being physically pained and psychologically abandoned, all because of your appearance due to your femaleless. This is patriarchy if I’ve ever seen it.

    Comment by Diane D — December 2, 2013 @ 5:20 pm

  90. After reading this article, I would like to agree with the fact pointed out that many women will go to extreme measures to meet the perfect standard of beauty, even if it will endanger them. Taking on breast implants in order to look good and meet the cultural standard of beauty is pathetic. Women should not get to such measures that it becomes life threatening. Jasmine is a clear example of a women who was pressured into getting breast implants in order to meet the unrealistic ideal beauty image that is portrayed in magazines/billboards. I think falling into pressures of the media and our culture has become a problem in our society. I believe that women should be loved for who they are and not just the way they look. Its sad to realize that Jasmine is not the only woman who has fallen into this trap and that many women will do similar things to enhance their beauty for a loved one.

    Comment by Leor M — December 2, 2013 @ 8:13 pm

  91. While reading this article, I couldn’t help but think of all the objectification, scrutiny and mental abuse many women go through. I feel upset for Jasmine, because as a woman, there are too many standards to keep up with, especially with body image. Although I personally feel sympathy for Jasmine, there are thousands of other women dealing with this pressure as well. Hence, women must learn to own their own body, gain their own individual perspective and gain self authority; although these are all good ideas, it is not always easy to mount up to them especially because of constant social media reminders and the previous mental abuse that has caused low self-esteem.

    Comment by Melody S. — December 3, 2013 @ 12:40 pm

  92. In a weird way I wonder what it would be like for me or other men if it were the opposite and we didn’t live in a patriarchy. What if we had to go to drastic measures to please women, how would that be? Although it might sound insensitive and even cruel, I feel very lucky and am a bit thankful to be a man. Men do not face any hardships if you compare them to what women have to face every day. Men do not have to watch what they where in fear of being raped or sexually abused. Men pretty much just have to live their life the way they want because the system is on our side. Reading this article about Jasmine makes me incredibly sad and guilty. It makes me think about any times in which I may have made any girls or women feel uncomfortable about their own looks. I strongly believe courses linked to the proper treatment of others and the installment of basic morals should be offered to kids from the beginning of school. Because it doesn’t seem to be clicking and carrying through to all people if assholes like Brad have the audacity to ask for things like that.

    Comment by Nathan P. — December 3, 2013 @ 5:56 pm

  93. When one accepts the fact that we live in this type of patriarchal society, we then realize how truly unfortunate our generation really is. The value of a female nowadays is based on her looks, rather than what is on the inside. For example, Jasmine became objectified and we overlook these types of situations daily. Once all this time and money is invested into a female’s body- in this case for implants, health takes the back-seat. In our society, women should be taught to focus more on being healthy rather than just being plump in certain areas.

    Comment by Michael S. — December 4, 2013 @ 2:52 am

  94. It’s such a shame that women would go to such extreme lengths to transform themselves for men. As a man myself, I would never thrust such a proposition on my partner. A wife or girlfriend, would not be my property and would never wish her to transform herself in any way. Men who think women should transform themselves merely for them should be sorely ashamed. On the flipside, women that feel as though they should change themselves and actually partake in the act should be as well. There is no excuse. Women should not allow men to dictate the way they look, think, act, or feel. Unfortunately, the individuality that lies with women has seemed to diminish over time. Women should be appreciated for who they are, not what they look like. This issue never seems to see any light unfortunately.

    Comment by Zachary L — December 4, 2013 @ 10:27 am

  95. What a horrible thing to have to go through, and to be continuously shut down or pushed aside telling her that she was crazy, and that all of her symptoms were in her head. Not only did she suffer some major body image insecurities for getting the implants in the first place, she suffered through it again after healing from the horrifying affects of the popped silicon implant. I really feel for Jasmine and this horrible situation she went through. It is really unfortunate that only one doctor took her seriously after so many tries to explain the symptoms she was experiencing. Also it is really unfortunate that our culture/society puts such an incredible pressure on young girls and women to fit into this unhealthy beauty ideal, torturing ourselves to stay there, god forbid we step out of its’ norms. I hope that many women and girls who hear Jasmine’s story can absorb the underlying message that they are beautiful the way they are and not to let this idealized sense of beauty detract them from the other amazing things they could be accomplishing.

    Last thought: It is really sad the men in this story were so effected by the message that they must be with a woman who only fits into this idealized beauty standard. That they are unable to discover what really attracts them to a woman, because of these subconscious messages that they follow tell them that they need the “perfect” woman.

    Comment by Caroline F-H — December 4, 2013 @ 4:06 pm

  96. Jasmine is probably just one of the many women that are treated like objects by important men in their lives. No woman deserves to be treated this way for the plain reason of pleasing a man. It makes my heart break to here that these men treat her like this, encouraging her to change how she naturally looks, even if it is a danger to her life. She went through so much pain; I don’t understand how a man who truly loves you could encourage you to go through a process that could cause the pain again. Plastic surgery is unnecessary to me. People should be loved for who they are and never for their looks. You should not tell someone that you are to love her more if they are to “enhance” their breast size. This is not true love, but rather lust. Sadly I see this a lot in our culture. I see girls getting nose jobs starting from as early as high school. These girls are not even fully developed and are putting themselves under the knife just to fit in, not realizing the harm that it can cause in the future. Then we have older women getting Botox. They are fighting with their natural processes for the plain reason to give men something appealing to look at. People don’t understand the full effects that surgery can have on you. As in Jasmine’s story, I’m sure she never thought she would go through so much pain in her future. Not only do women feel this pressure to look good by men but the media as well. The media constantly flashes pictures at us of women who are dramatically edited. These women are endlessly young and thin. Women need to understand that no surgery is going to make a man fall in love with her. It is how you feel and love yourself that attracts a man to you and that’s where true love comes in.

    Comment by Jasmin Lavi — April 20, 2014 @ 7:27 pm

  97. I really enjoyed reading this article, not because of what happened to Jasmine, but because it was so well expressed. My heart breaks for Jasmine who married a coward under a false pretense that he really loved her in sickness and health. I also commend her for standing up for herself and most important for having a support system and a wonderful friend like you, who no doubt, I am sure proved to be a life-saver.

    This is why I have never married, because of men like Brad. A man is so quick to profess his love to a woman just for selfish reasons of having a beautiful, physical perfect wife.

    Unfortunately, we women continue to beautify ourselves for the sake of attracting a partner. Now, you see ads for the perfect feet, a tighter vagina all so your “man” can be happy. We should see more advertisements for self-fulfillment and living healthy, long lives. We are surrounded by patriarchy from all aspects of our lives and so as long we drink the kool-aid, change will never come.

    I hope Jasmine has found happiness. I am sure, the strength she showed, leads me to believe she has no regrets and has gotten through this!

    Comment by Rosa G. — April 27, 2014 @ 8:52 pm

  98. I come from a family where all the women have gotten boob jobs so boob jobs have never been seen as anything major to me. Reading this story though and reading the statistics of the complications with breast implants has made me view it differently. It makes me very uncomfortable and sad that women feel the need to go to such extremes to please men, not even themselves. All my aunts said they did it for themselves, but really it’s to be more accepted and valued in society as beautiful. Not really their own conscious choice. I am really shocked though that no doctor took her seriously and took it out sooner. I thought in our more modern and rational society, more than one doctor should have obliged. This just shows to me how to society, beauty is worth dying for and with beauty comes the cost of your health apparently. I really hope women and men will learn to accept and learn to see beauty in all body types because this unnecessary step in artificiality is completely insane and getting out of control. We need to warn more people about the dangers of breast implants!

    Comment by Stephanie Hua — May 5, 2014 @ 9:23 pm

  99. I grew up waiting for the day my breasts would arrive, but they never did. I have spent many years watching as my friends developed and fit into clothes perfectly the way I never would. I watched on television and saw in magazines women with beautiful breasts as I sat flat chested and mocked by my friends who said I had “mosquito bites.” I never felt beautiful or good enough for the guys in my class because I wasn’t sexy enough and I never felt I could be. Even worst—I saw skinny women with tiny waists, wide hips, long legs, and big breasts everywhere I went, plastered on any surface available. This impossible ideal was something I have spent most of my life obsessing over, but have in the past year or two come to terms with the its ludicrous expectations.
    The extent to which patriarchy influences men and women to desire (false) perfection for themselves and for those present in their sexual fantasies is so damaging and as proof from this article—life-threatening. Because of feminism and developing a feminist consciousness I am more able to see myself through the “flaws” and for who I am—to truly see myself with all of my strengths and unique qualities. Media literacy helps me do this specifically, and making a conscious effort to watch less television and expose myself to less advertisements. But most importantly, I maintain my media literacy so I do not develop a distorted body image by being hyper aware of the messages being sent to me in the advertisements and whyat tools are being used to sell me the product at hand. Being able to weed out the b-s and see things as they really are makes me a happier individual and one filled with exceptionally higher levels of self-worth and esteem—I have more love for myself and it’s because of feminism.

    Comment by Mary R. — May 6, 2014 @ 9:45 am

  100. Many women do not realize that there are greater consequences to getting breast implants than just health risks or physical complciations. For instance, one should focus on the reason that a woman signs up for breats implants. The most likely reason is to please her companion or others, and her own body image, just like this article demonstrates. This mostly results in women being liked in society, but believe it or not, the woman is putting herself below others. When you recieve breat implants, you are saying I now deserve your attention because of the glorifying size of these. It creates sexist thinking and a preserves a society that upholds beauty and ‘perfect’ body image over other qualities that are suppose to be more reflective of your individual self.
    I women do the right thing, and forever oppose this ridiculous mindset.

    Comment by Tamir M. — May 6, 2014 @ 3:16 pm

  101. I believe that many women do not realize the greater consequences of breast implants than just health risks and physical complications. They may not completely understand the effect that this can have on their standings/position in society. Women almost always get breast implants in order to please their companions, others, or themselves seeing now that their body image can be considered sexy such as stated in this article. Yet, when you sign up for a breast implant (if you are a woman), you are basically saying that you now deserve people’s full attention and respect. In turn, you are placing this unrealistic beauty ideal as the most important quality in front of men and society, and in addition this places many other women who are different since they have small breasts in the position of being undeserving of attention, respect, care, and even opportunity. At the end of the day, a woman who thought she will be well-off with breast implants will end up uncomfortable from the attention she is receiving, and would eventually be treated as an irrational, over emotional, and somewhat insane woman if she is to complain. And once you finally rid yourself of those breast implants and reduce them to their original size, it is your companions and other male counterparts that will now complain at you and treat you very much like nothing since they believe and see that you are no longer perfect, attractive, and worth something. No matter how good your other qualities may be, you will no longer matter to many of the men you were once exposed to with breast implants if you do no longer possess that ‘beauty’ quality which you once used to please these men.
    There are so many problems that women can avoid if they just say no to this ridiculous mindset. Even if it is the guy you are in love with who is attempting to change you, if it is true love then you should not be encouraged to change anything about your look. Ultimately, either he accepts the ‘no’ or you have him go on to find a new ‘perfect’ companion because turns out it’s not you who he really wants.

    Comment by Tamir M. — May 6, 2014 @ 4:17 pm

  102. If I were to have read this article a year ago, I would have blatantly blamed mankind for Jasmine’s tragic situation. However, now, I blame our messed up and patriarchal society. While Brad and Tim’s values and statements are completely shallow and vapid, I don’t think they are completely responsible for the way they carry themselves. In today’s society, women are objectified as prizes of sexual desire. That means that women are valued for being skinny, yet possessing a round behind and large breasts. Men, however, are allowed to come in different shapes and sized, and still be considered desirable.In turn, men come to believe that only women need to look a certain way. How is this fair? Women suffer at the hands of our artificial and highly judgmental society both mentally and physically. They suffer mentally in the sense that they can be degraded for not appearing to be sexual or pretty enough. Even worse, they suffer physically by going through dangerous beauty operations and eating disorders. In Jasmine’s case, the quest for beauty almost led to her death. I hope that Jasmine is doing and feeling better now. I also hope Brad and Tim have come to their senses. But, most, I hope Jasmine’s story serves as a wake up call to all: we, both men and women, will never be perfect. Just let us be the best that we can possibly we.

    Comment by Jessica B — May 12, 2014 @ 5:04 pm

  103. In our society, the trend for women is to look beautiful no matter what. It is sad to say that the ideal body type these days is to have big breasts or a big butt. Women that have big breasts and butt are considered to be gorgeous, while women who do not possess those physical attributes are not even cared for or recognized. This story shows how there can be many consequences when it comes to listening to other people’s desires. Every man should accept a woman for what she naturally looks like, including who she really is. If society valued a woman’s mind more than her body, then there would be a lot more women walking around with professional degrees instead of having breast procedures done. Women should do procedures if only if they want to do it for themselves. They should not do it merely because another person wants them to, it is your body and not theirs.

    Comment by Pouya Ghodsian — May 23, 2014 @ 4:48 pm

  104. In life you should love your self first and accept who you are before allowing another person into your life. Reading the article it seems like the husband is keep putting jasmine down and keep telling her she needs to get breast implants to be perfect. Its crazy how media has such a big impact on the image of being perfect but, in reality no one can be perfect. Through out the article, the doctor didn’t seem to care about what type of health problems she would have after the surgery. Only the money was important to the doctor. Do you think girls like to go through this pain for themselves? I personally don’t think so. Having big breast is just an objects for men’s pleasure, and by having that you think more guys will like you more. Every single day girls and women are constantly exposed to these fake images of perfection, and are taught that being perfect you are valued differently. However, girls and women will do anything to be loved. I learned that you should really love yourself and accept the flaws you have, because what really makes you different and unique are those flaws you have.

    Comment by Hasti N — May 27, 2014 @ 1:02 pm

  105. To be attractive means to be petite with large breasts–according to today’s standards. Growing up I was never happy with what puberty did (or didn’t in my case) do to my body. I wanted those womanly curves that were desired and the breasts that everyone, but myself, seemed to have. Even my older sister teased me explaining how I’ll just have to get myself “fixed.” I have now come to realize that there is nothing wrong, nothing to fix. To have flaws implies that there is an imperfection, but an imperfection to what? To today’s beauty standards? To what the media implies is attractive? Our bodies are natural and do not need any kind of “fixing.” I agree with the previous comment that girls do not go through this pain for themselves–most spend money to have these surgeries for men and to gain male attention. It is important to solve these distorted body images that we have of ourselves and realize these images we compare ourselves have negative consequences, both mentally and physically.

    Comment by Vanessa R. — May 29, 2014 @ 12:39 am

  106. It amazes me how cultivated this idea of beauty has been so deeply engraved in us. I can confessed that as of a couple months ago I was contemplating whether to get breast implants or not. I have always felt less worthy because my breast size is not to the size that we constantly see on ads and the media. As a way to raise my low self-esteem I figured I put myself under then knife once I finished my undergraduate work. After reading this article the idea of getting breast implants totally disgusted me and terrified me. All the backlashes that result out of it and the side effects that can potentially threaten my life is very tariffing. And to even think you can’t trust the doctors who are often in support of this harmful plastic surgery. It is very tough to unlearn a lot of the ideals that have been bombarded everywhere. I constantly find myself in a struggle to apply these things I learn in my women studies class because of the expectation and beauty ideal that I have grown up with. It is very inspiring to see a woman like her and see how she was able to cope and come out of the struggle of feeling unwanted. It is sad to see the extremes we have come to that even today we are constantly trying to alter our body to please other. Loving yourself can go very far way, unlearning what has been so deeply engraved in many girls like myself will be a struggle. I am glad that at least I know why and how this poisonous ideas is structuralized in our society. This will really help me in discovering the real me and leaving behind the mentality of wanting to look like the “females” on TV.

    Comment by Cinthia Magana — May 31, 2014 @ 11:11 pm

  107. It scares me how cultivated this idea of beauty has been so deeply engraved in us. I can confessed that as of a couple months ago I was contemplating whether to get breast implants or not. I have always felt less worthy because my breast size is not to the size that we constantly see on ads and the media. As a way to raise my low self-esteem I figured I put myself under then knife once I finished my undergraduate work. After reading this article the idea of getting breast implants totally disgusted me and terrified me. All the backlashes that result out of it and the side effects that can potentially threaten my life is very tariffing. And to even think you can’t trust the doctors who are often in support of this harmful plastic surgery. It is very tough to unlearn a lot of the ideals that have been bombarded everywhere. I constantly find myself in a struggle to apply these things I learn in my women studies class because of the expectation and beauty ideal that I have grown up with. It is very inspiring to see a woman like her and see how she was able to cope and come out of the struggle of feeling unwanted. It is sad to see the extremes we have come to that even today we are constantly trying to alter our body to please other. Loving yourself can go very far way, unlearning what has been so deeply engraved in many girls like myself will be a struggle. I am glad that at least I know why and how this poisonous ideas is structured in our society. This will really help me in discovering the real me and leaving behind the mentality of wanting to look like the “females” on TV.

    Comment by Cinthia Magana-Nava — May 31, 2014 @ 11:14 pm

  108. The problem here was more than just breast implants. The problem was that Jasmine has been bombarded with the message that she’s not good enough, wearing her down to the point that she took a half-hearted declaration of love seriously enough to dramatically alter her body. The problem is that this was seen as normal. The problem is that this is still seen as normal. Girls just like Jasmine are putting toxic lumps into their chests every day to conform to a beauty standard, almost always so that men (who don’t value them as a person, by the way, but think these women are great sex objects) will pay more attention to them. Hell, the problem is that these women need to feel validated by this male attention. I naturally have fairly small breasts, one of which is slightly larger than the other, and this has always drove me nuts. I had seriously considered surgically altering my breasts until I did my research on it and realized just how physically, mentally, and emotionally harmful these implants can be. We need to stop perpetuating this toxic beauty ideal. I have a suggestion for a new perfect body for society. Do you have a body? Congrats, it’s perfect. Let’s make it that simple to love ourselves and our bodies.

    Comment by Maya K — June 1, 2014 @ 10:23 am

  109. This article really caught my attention because I have always hated my boobs, and before reading this I actually was thinking about getting breast implants in the future. I n middle school and some of high school I was overweight, and was C cup. In my last year of high school I lost almost fifty pounds, and went down to a B cup. From losing all the weight I developed stretch marks, and began to be really unhappy with how my breasts looked. I had lost so much weight, and looked fantastic, but I couldn’t be happy for myself because now my breasts were a “problem”. I dated a guy much like the men that were explained in this article, that liked huge fake boobs, and would always make comments about girls walking by who had these balloons on their chests. I remember complaining to him about my boobs, and expressing that I wanted to get breast implants, and all he said was “Yeah! Maybe your dad can help you pay for them?” At the moment I wasn’t insulted, but looking back now it;s very upsetting. He was not supposed to agree with me! The man I want to be with is going to love everything about me, including my breasts. The guy that I am with now loves every part of me, and every time I had mentioned breast implants, he had gotten upset and told me how much he loves mine the way they are. I’ve started to love my natural breasts, and the fact that someone else loves them too helps a lot!

    Comment by Elena V. — June 2, 2014 @ 6:08 pm

  110. Women in our society are constantly taught to be beautiful so that they can be attractive for men. However, sometimes women are genetically born with small breasts, and it affects women mentally because they believe that if they don’t grow, men will not go chase after them. Unfortunately, we live in a society where men chase external beauty of women and not the inner beauty, such as intelligence or personality. This causes a ripple affect of our women having a low self esteem, and causing them to put them under a knife so that they can be attractive and maybe men will like her. In my opinion, I believe that women should stay strong and not go through surgery because its harmful to the body and everyone has different imperfections in their body. Sometimes being the perfect looking female in the block wont make you feel happy internally.

    Comment by Shahab Naimi — June 2, 2014 @ 11:46 pm

  111. Some guys don’t know how much they can impact a girl just by what they say even if they do not mean it in a harmful way. Telling a girl she would look more attractive if her breasts were bigger, if she had a bigger butt, if she was skinnier, if she had a smaller nose are all very sensitive subjects for women. Men have an ideal women in their minds and so every girl they come upon, they wish would look like the perfect image. Women love attention, everyone knows that, especially men. Just like Jasmines story, women can turn to modern day advances and go through pain because they know it will bring more attention upon them and they will feel happier. Plastic surgery can be so harmful to the body but in these certain situations, women do not think of what could possibly happen to them but how they could better themselves so that men will like them. It will continue to progressively get worse until women learn to have some dignity and flaunt what they’re given.

    Comment by Dorsa Mehrannia — June 2, 2014 @ 11:59 pm

  112. It is hard to read this article and not feel for the emotional and physical hardships that Jasmine went through. Jasmines story is a very sad situation that I believe all females should be aware of. Women should not have to change their physical features in order to attract attention from men. There should have been a big alarm going off in Jasmines head when Tim told her he’d marry her if she would consider getting breast implants. She should have been perfect for Tim already if he was going to marry her. In my opinion the media is to blame for this sad situation that Jasmine was put in. The media is influencing us day by day to achieve the unrealistic goal of looking like the supermodels in magazines and on T.V. The problem is that most people are ignorant and actually think you have to look like the models to gain acceptance. Unfortunately, Jasmine low self-worth caused by the media is what caused her to agree to do such a thing. We need to start accepting who we are and embracing what makes us unique. We shouldn’t change ourselves to meet other peoples standards.

    Comment by Daniel Y. — June 3, 2014 @ 12:55 am

  113. As the only woman in my family who has small breasts I felt I had to speak up and comment on this article. I was pained to read what happened to this poor girl in the story and hope that we can begin to change the ideal- unrealistic body images that society has appropriated and start teaching that boys, men, women and girls that there are many different ways to be sexy=y and beautiful that have nothing to do with images of so called perfection. I am one of the few woman with small breasts that actually is happy to have them. I once dated someone who has scheduled an appt with a surgeon for breast implants because he wanted to propose to me but first wanted to know if Id get implants- I was shocked, but I walked away from the relationship. After discussing with him it was clear that he had been so visually trained by pornography and media that he literately was no longer attracted and aroused by women with small breasts, and felt he couldn’t change it no matter how hard he tried. This was a clear example to me of how media infiltrates the subconscious. I of course didn’t remain the relationship! I however continue to be perplexed by the fact that I can scarcely find a bra in my size that isn’t padded so heavily that it feels like I am walking around with 5 inch pillows stuffed in my bra. This too is societies way of saying that it’s just not go okay to have small breasts and that it is a problem that needs to be fixed if not by way of surgery than at least by way of cotton!

    Comment by Jennifer S. — June 4, 2014 @ 12:00 am

  114. This was a difficult story to read being that I once (many times) debated with other guy friends on what we prefer, breasts, or buttocks? Reading this brings that guilt of being just like Jasmine’s husbands who want what they want and it should be done that way. It is hard for a women because as men, we want to pick and chose rather than just accept what is there. Now I can see the errors in my view and definitely feel for Jasmine who tried to please her husband. But Jasmine also can blame other women, because it influenced her whether subconsciously or consciously. Women have become their own enemies, and rather than help each other, they defer to criticizing and teasing. Also, the advertisements shown today and the “role models” only make it harder, because they try to make women want to reach a certain level of beauty, while being sexy, which is very hard and unlikely possible. All these things contribute in decisions made today by women and can take bad turns as was the case for Jasmine.

    Comment by Kevin Monterroso — July 28, 2014 @ 11:16 pm

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